8.27.2013

Keepin' it Real with Kayla Layla

What's up boys & girls?!

So, if you know me in "real" life, you know that I just love to keep it real.

Why?
That's why.


So, here's a few things I need to keep it real about today:

1. Let's just get this out of the way already. I've never been so hungover off a person as I am Miley Cyrus right now. I talked about her all day yesterday to anyone who would listen. I can't stop. I won't stop.

2. I'm getting sick and tired of assholes in morning traffic. It's like, if you're in such a fucking hurry, leave your house early for crying out loud! Stop making shoving your face full of Fruity Pebbles such a priority and consider the lives and schedules of others on the road. Douche lords.

3. Speaking of, raise your hand if you left the house yesterday in flip flops instead of flats and got all the way to the gas station for a Red Bull when you realized this.


*ahem... raises hand*


Truth.


4. I can't even bring myself to discuss Khlo-Mar right now. I'm a mess of epic proportions. I hope this is where mine and Khloe's similarities end. I'll still be keeping a close eye on Bradley for signs of crack cocaine addition just to be safe.

5. Don't google "Crack cocaine addition signs" because if you're like me, you'll spend  45 minutes of your life reading things you already know from watching Intervention while simultaneously checking over your sleeping significant other for signs of substance abuse.

6. I'm still laughing about this

Never gets old. For real.

7. I can't even handle the abundance of coupons and ads we get in the mail at our house anymore. It's like every pizza place in town knows we're trying to eat better and lose weight so they've made it their mission to test our willpower on the reg. Really Papa John's? Really?! Don't do me like that!

8. I'm already at the point where I wish Fall and Winter would get here just so I can stop worrying about factoring a leg shaving into my morning routine. Ain't nobody got time for that.

9. Let's get really real. We all know I'm not gonna wait until pants-wearing weather to stop worrying about shaving my legs...

10. My OCD with numbers is beyond cray. I'm not particular about even numbers (only sometimes) but I prefer numbers that are significant to me for various reasons. In the car, the volume on the radio can only be at 19,21,25, or 30. I prefer numbers that are divisible by 5 and I hate prime numbers (except 19.) It also drives me nuts when you add your name and blog link to the list for a link-up and you end up on an odd-prime number that isn't 19. That happened this morning. Bible, it totally threw my whole day off.

I need therapy and possibly medication for this.


Thanks for Keepin' it Real today err'body! Anything you need to keep it real about??



12 comments:

  1. I totally got anxiety just reading # 10 because I can totally relate... OCD for the win! Or, more like for the loss! *womp womp*

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  2. :) thanks for the early morning giggles...

    so, the only thing this morning that "rubbed me the wrong way" is the following, which showed up as a status update on lovely facebook "UNTIL YOU HAVE ...
    counted little fingers ...
    counted little toes ...
    held a little hand ...
    kissed a little nose ...
    soothed a little tummy ...
    read to little ears ...
    powdered a little booty ...
    wiped away little tears ...
    YOU HAVENT KNOWN LOVE!"

    Pshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...I went to baby bulldog twice this morning because she was sulking and pouting and giving me the guilt trip on leaving :( melted my heart. That kid could grow up one day and decide he thinks you're a moron and ever call, never visit. My bulldog will love me unconditionally :) and duh, I love her unconditionally! So..don't tell me I haven't felt love if I don't have kids. Twerps.

    And now...we shall all have a lovely day!

    -Dot

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  3. Welcome to the "AOCD" club...its the Awesomely OCD peeps of the world, because OCD isn't a bad thing unless it interferes with your life. I don't think the volume being one 21 impacts anyone's life or yours other than it being too loud.ha.
    At least you aren't OCD about straight lines and labels aligning correctly (I say sheepishly.)

    and here I go, posting comment #3, an odd number....my day just got off to a bad start.

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  4. So... I just started following you and I have to laugh because I got half way to work this morning and realized I had on my flip flops and not my pretty work sandals... oops!!! And now I'm stuck in flip flops that don't match my outfit until lunch... However, I'm ok with it because the day could be so much worse!

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  5. so glad I started following your blog! This post made me giggle!!

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  6. That picture of the Smiths' is hilarious. They are challenged in their own ways, so those faces of disgust REALLY mean something.

    This post is great, thank you for the chuckle!!
    Hope that the Red Bull has kicked in and the flip flops make your day just a bit better. :)

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  7. OMG the numbers thing is hilarious! I have a friend that used to count the letters in every sentence she spoke (or heard) and each sentence had to add up to an even number or it bothered her. For real. I tried doing it once and it took me like 2 minutes just to add up one sentence. She would do it on the fly, like all day. I think she finally trained herself to stop, though.

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  8. Oh no I must be behind on my kardashian gossip. Didn't you know I was a cousin. I love those damn reality girls mainly because they aren't lollipop heads and they actually kind of look like a real life person. LOL Well minus Kim's big booty. That shit looks fake. Anywho...Miley Miley Miley...I really liked her music but you know how you watch a music video and it kind of wrecks the song for you? Well yeah that VMA car crash did it for me. I will never be able to erase the image of her creepy cow tongue out the whole dang time, and the Smith's reaction cracks me up.

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  9. Yes to the leg shaving!! I'm so sick of having to do it because I want to wear shorts!! Bring on fall, I'm so ready!! And I'm sick of having to try to keep my outdoor plants alive. They are pretty brown and crusty, so if it just gets a little colder, it will look like it happened naturally! Right?

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  10. Amen to number 2! There is this chick, who I can only assume is a college student because I only see her on the road during semestar months and she is a mega douche on the road. In order for me to stay calm in the morning I guess I'LL be the one to get on the road earlier in order to miss having to drive in her vacinity.
    And let the records show I may or may not have(but most likely did) stop shaving in July! What?! ;)

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  11. Morning traffic- I am SO with you on this!! (and also the leg shaving lol)

    Khlo-mar.. I'm a pop culture hermit this week.. fill me in??

    Jen
    Jen.amileamemory@gmail.com

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  12. I STILL watch Intervention. I love that show. And I love that you said Bile in your post. Haha!

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