Poppin' the Question

My friend Megan just got engaged last week to her boyfriend Brian. Brian's brother is my friend Bethany's husband Shawn. Bethany and Shawn introduced Bradley and I. Are you following me so far?

My friend Ashley got engaged a couple of weeks ago to her boyfriend Spencer as well. These wedding bells have to be exhausted from all this ringing!

So in light of all of these recent engagements within my group of friends, I'd like to turn this into a story about myself. See what I did there? ;)

My engagement story is really cute and awkward, just like my Bradley. We both knew very early on that we were going to get married. I never believed it until it happened to me, but you really do just know. About 4 months before we'd gotten engaged, we were shopping at the mall and decided to go look at rings just for the hell of it. I tried on this one ring in particular, and we both had the same reaction about it. It was most definitely the one.

Being the creep that I am, I took a catalog they had in the store home with us and put the picture of the ring on my nightstand at his house A. Because I loved it, it was beautiful and I couldn't stop staring at it and B. Because Bradley responds best to pictures and instructions.

On the December 21st of last year I was working in the evening making Christmas cookies with my nephews. We went all out with the icing and the sprinkles. All of the things that my nightmares are made of. It was a really great day and there was a bunch of snow on the ground but the sun was out. I remember thinking how perfect it was and how excited I was to be enjoying the holiday spirit.

Bradley called and told me we were going out to dinner at a local seafood restaurant which should have been my first clue that something was amiss. He never eats seafood. And he was rushing me along, telling me to shower and get ready at my sister's house so that we could go as soon as I got off work. Again, I should have been able to sniff this out, but somehow I missed all the signs.

On the way home from dinner he starts talking to me about Geocaching. In case you've never heard of it before, it's basically an App you can get on your phone and you follow a map and use a compass to find these hidden caches. They can be really tiny or pretty big. You put your name on the log when you find it and then put it back. My friends and I were obsessed with this a couple of summers ago and I'd always tried to get Bradley into it but he just made fun of me.

Quickly the conversation turned into him wanting to stop and find one on the way home. It was 20 degrees out in December with snow on the ground, but I was so astonished that he was actually caving in that I didn't object. So he "navigates" us to this cache he finds on his phone, parks the car, and we get out to find it. He was wearing his coat but he also grabbed a hoodie he'd had in his car. I'm like, "Why do you have a hoodie?" His quick witted response was, "Uhh, I'm cold?"

I had my phone out trying to use my flashlight to find the cache while he's messing around behind me pretending to look. At this point I'm bitching up a storm because I'm irritated, cold and incredibly full. I was having a hard time finding it and I started looking in a different place when Bradley was like, "Try looking over there babe I think I see it." I checked around this light pole and sure enough, there it was. I pulled out the log to sign it and in it's place was a note that read, "Pookie, will you marry me?" After I shit my pants, I turned around to find him on one knee, kneeling on his hoodie in the snow, proposing to me. 

I ugly cried like it was my job for about 5 straight minutes before I said yes. It was the cutest, sweetest, most thoughtful thing he's ever done. He'd even asked my Mom for my hand in marriage beforehand. He can be such a gentleman when he wants to.

He had arranged with all of our friends to be at our favorite bar that night, so after he proposed we went out to celebrate. People bought us Cherry Jack Bombs galore and we were both so hammered and happy.

The Hammered and Happy Couple

When we got home that night, he proposed to me again, only this time in the style of Randy "Macho Man" Savage. For those of you who know anything about professional wrestling, Macho Man proposed to Miss Elizabeth in the ring once on television. Bradley, in his drunken stupor, fashioned himself as Macho Man and myself as Miss Elizabeth and asked me, "Miss Kaylaaaaa, Willlll Youuuuu Marrrrryyyyy Meeeee?" I of course had to accept, as his proposals just kept getting more and more creative. He then proceeded to pass out cold while I stayed up to eat a PB&J. Perfect ending to a perfect night.

Snapping into Slim Jims in his dreams

It's been almost a year since we got engaged, and we are planning on getting married 7 months from now. It's crazy to think about how quickly time has flown by and pretty soon I'll be walking down the aisle to my Mach Man. I'm so so glad that Bradley went the extra mile to make our proposal really memorable and special. I really did get so lucky, and I can't wait to see him standing at the alter :)


That One Bad Hair Decision

My recent Q&A post has inspired me to talk a little more about my luxurious locks of hair. For all of my life my hair has been a big part of who I am. I came into this world with a full head of it, and people were constantly impressed with not only how much hair I had, but how dark and long it was too. It was my first claim to fame.

The above picture would not be the first time I was to be mistaken for a boy

These three pictures were taken at 3 months, 1 year, and 3 years respectively. Unfortunately my mane is/was pin straight, lacks any volume, and my Mother thought at the time that cutting the front half of my hair into bangs was a good idea. It wasn't until I got into Junior High that I decided I no longer wanted bangs that started in the back of my head.

While it was always great getting attention from people for having such long, dark hair, I always found myself envious of the girls with locks of the curly and wavy variety. It seemed like they could do so much more with their look and they didn't even have to try to style their hair. I on the other hand had to resort to wearing headbands which only accentuated my ugly and uneven hair line. Poor 6 year old Kayla Layla had no one to set her straight. Such a shame.

One day I somehow managed to convince my mother that I needed a perm. She was a little reluctant, but I like to nag until I get my way, so she quickly caved. In my mind, I pictured my hair to have these big, loose, bouncy curls. I thought I was going to look like Julia Roberts with all that volume and shine. 

I ended up looking like my worst nightmare.

The world's earliest (and worst) documented selfie

First of all, just to clarify, the white stuff on my mouth was some sort of error upon development. I took this with a disposable camera and I think that taking this picture shocked the camera's system and maybe temporarily disabled it, thus the blemish. 

Secondly, can you imagine looking at this in the mirror everyday? As if it wasn't enough I was overweight, awkward, and unattractive, but to replace my one feature of beauty with this brown poodle on my head? It was a travesty. 

I still don't know why the hairdresser cut so much of my hair off. In this picture it's pulled back into a pony tail, but in reality it sat at my shoulders. I was so devastated that I hid underneath my Powerpuff Girls blanket for days. My sisters all came over and looked at me and hysterically laughed. I was initially too depressed to laugh at myself, but then I quickly got over it. How could you not?

Clearly this was the worst decision I've ever made. I still blame my mom for allowing me to do it in the first place considering I was like 9 and she should have known it was going to turn out badly. But I can laugh at myself now and show the world the worst picture of all time because I think it's hysterical, and because I finally grew into my looks so it's no longer an accurate reflection of my appearance.

The moral of this story is, don't get a perm. Just don't do it. Perms are unnatural. Perms are the devil. If you get a perm, you will look like the above picture.

Remember 9 year old Kayla Layla who didn't know what a bad decision it was going to be. Learn from her mistakes.


Q&A Day!

Hello boys and girls and Happy Friday Time!

This week flew by, which I am not in the least bit complaining about. I love sleeping in with my Bradley and my Chordie and hittin' up Starbucks for my weekly PSL. My little slice of Heaven :)

I am so excited to answer the questions some of you posted to humor me with my Q&A. They were all funny and thoughtful, and I appreciate anything that encourages me to talk about myself so here we go!

Nicki from Beautifully Awkward asked:
"What is your favorite Halloween costume? If you could wear one outfit for the rest of your life what would it be? What exercise do you hate the most?"

Well Nicki, it's going to be difficult for me to pick a favorite Halloween costume. My mom used to hand make them for me so that they were as true to form and perfect as possible. One year she made me this super gorgeous authentic-looking poodle skirt when I was a 50's girl, then another year the dress that Rose from Titanic wore when she meets Jack and was going to jump off the boat, and she's even made me a Yellow Ranger costume which was the bomb.com. But my favorite would have to be my Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz costume. I starred as Dorothy in my 3rd grade school play, and since it was around the time of Halloween I wore it to trick-or-treat as well. It was so perfect and I loved it so much. I even had red shoes that we glittered like Dorothy's and they were beautiful. My mom still has all of my costumes because she's a hoarder and because I'm her favorite child so she's pretty much held onto everything of mine. 

As for the outfit I would wear for the rest of my life, that's a piece of cake. I live in Victoria's Secret boyfriend sweatpants. I have multiple pairs, and I get butterflies in my stomach when I turn onto my street after work because I can't wait to come home and put them on. Funny enough, I used to wear them daily when I was a Nanny and that was acceptable. I don't care what anyone says, sweatpants and a t-shirt are my jam.  

If you know me at all, you know that I hate running. Even the thought of running makes my chest tight and I feel out of breath. When I originally lost 90 pounds I did it without ever running. Sure, I did cardio like the elliptical or walking on a sharp incline on the treadmill, but never running. I've learned that unless I'm being chased by a murderer or if I'm about to burn my popcorn, I don't need to run. And so I won't. Boom!

JC from Sweet Love & Ginger asked:

"What makes you unique? Like the characteristic that is Kayla Layla. Thing that reminds other people of you."

Physically, people remember me mostly by my hair. It's crazy long, so that tends to be the first thing people notice and the biggest thing they remember. Personality-wise, I'd like to think that my most memorable characteristic is my honesty. People come to me for my opinions on lots of things because they know I will tell them the truth. Not because I am being mean, or because I want to tear people down or hurt their feelings. But because everyone deserves the truth, whether it's about how you look in a shirt, or whether or not your boyfriend is a douche-lord. We can't see ourselves from the outside, and sometimes our judgement gets so clouded that it's hard to evaluate things as they are. I always make it a point to be there for anyone and everyone I care about, and I'm a straight-shooter when they come to me for advice. Plus, I would want everyone to be straight-forward with me as well. I don't like bullshit, plain and simple.

Also, I'm pretty freaking funny. Err'body knows that ;)

Erin from Shesabigstar asked:

"Why oh WHY are the Red Sox the best team in baseball?"

My dear, sweet, beloved Erin. I wish I could answer that question for you, but unfortunately it appears to be a trick. You see, the St. Louis Cardinals have won more than 9,300 games, 11 World Series Championships, 18 National League Pennants, 3 National League Eastern Division Titles, and 8 National League Central Division Titles. There are more than 40 former Cardinal players and managers enshrined in the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum. Also, over the last 16 seasons, they have finished in first place eight times, won three NL pennants and two World Series while drawing over 50 million fans.

I think I rest my case :)

"When are you and Bradley getting married and do you plan on having kids right away or do you want to me married for a while first?"

Bradley and I have set our wedding date for May 31st, 2014. God willing, we can pull off our wedding while being house and car poor at the same time. If it was up to Bradley, we would have been having kids a year and a half ago. For me, I want to do things in the "right order" and get married first. Not because I think there's anything wrong with having kids and then getting married, but because I personally was a child whose parents weren't married and I grew up with such a complex about it. I felt like a love child, and I hated that my mom didn't have the same last name as me. Honestly, I want more than anything to be Bradley's wife. I want to wear a white wedding dress, and I want to enjoy our life together as a married couple for just a little bit. With that being said, as of now I would like to start trying once we get married because I know it's going to be something of a process for me. I have Endometriosis, so conceiving and carrying a child could potentially be a challenge and I want to give myself enough time to figure out if I can do it on my own before using medical intervention. I'm going to leave the kids thing in God's hands and see what happens.

Samantha from 24 to 30 asked:

"How do you keep your hair looking so gorgeous all the time?!"

Oh Samantha, you are a girl after my own heart. Aside from the fact that everything about me is gorgeous, my hair is an entity unto itself. I've always had long hair (except for this one time, which I am feeling inspired to share with you next week once I find the picture) and it's been as much a part of me as my right arm. To keep it looking so luxurious I'll let you in on my little secret. I don't do shit with it! I don't style it, I don't put chemicals in it, I get two haircuts and colors a year, and I use a comb instead of a brush. I change my shampoo and conditioner every time I run out, and I only blow dry the outside of it enough so that it doesn't get crazy frizzy and I straighten out the ends just a bit because they tend to flip a little. Otherwise, it just sits straight as a board and refuses to curl or do anything special. I will say that I am big on conditioning because my hair gets really tangled if I don't, and because it's so long it tends to break easily. Having long hair is the perfect lazy girl hairstyle and I have it down to a science. 

Rikki from Momma's Got A Dude's Name asked: 
"You are walking along at the state fair and about to devour a couple three fried oreos when a fan of your blog comes running up to you screaming, "IT'S KAYLA LAYLA! HOLY FUCKING COW IT IS KAYLA LAYLA!!!!!!" This crazed fan starts asking you a million questions and all you can think of is how you can get one of these glorious deep fried cookies into your face hole. What is your strategy? Go!" 

Not to toot my own horn Rikki (toot toot) but I am an excellent multi-tasker. I also happen to be a great listener. What happens when you combine these two admirable qualities? Me stuffing my pie-hold with oreos while listening to this barrage of questions. Because I'm Kayla Layla, they are already going to know not to mess with me when I'm enjoying my snacks, so they will be patient enough to wait for me to finish chewing and considerate enough to look past the chocolate in my teeth. After I finish my cookies, I would inform them that it's gonna cost them another 3 oreos plus a funnel cake to answer their questions. This of course is a great deal considering I have tens of followers who would die to get this kind of face time with me. We all leave happy and it would make a great story for everyone.

Because Rikki is an over-achiever, she also asked:
"Finish the story:

I was headed to the grocery store to get another box of chocolate Lucky Charms (dear inventor of this blessed cereal: I could kiss you right on the mouth). When I arrived at the store I saw a homeless man sitting right in front of the delightful boxes of goodness, blocking my path to deliciousness. I must have looked startled because he looks up at me and says, "Don't be alarmed Kayla Layla. I'm only here to help." Immediately, I...."

My mom always taught me not to talk to strangers. And I've seen enough shows on ID to know better than to accept any help from them either. I'm certainly not going to be rolling the dice on an apparent homeless transient who may or may not smell like urine. I'm gonna put on my "Fuck You" face, grab my cereal, and bounce the fuck out of there. Homie don't play that game.

And last, but never ever least, Holly from Where We Can Live Like Jack & Sally asked:

"Who is your favorite family member of Bradley's? Who is the least favorite?"

I see what you did there Holly Stanfield, and two can play your game. My favorite family member of Bradley's is my Fairy Blogmother Holly. She has introduced me to the wonderful world of blogging, and for that I am eternally grateful. She understands the necessity of an empty sink, and she is always the first person there when you need someone. Holly always puts other people first, and she is truly one of the most thoughtful and considerate people I've ever met. I can't wait for Thanksgiving when she and Noel and their families will be at our home to celebrate. I definitely hit the jackpot with my awesome future sisters-in-law.

As for my least favorite family member of Bradley's, my answer is ANYONE WHO IS NOT HOLLY STANFIELD!

Checkmate :)

Whew! Who knew talking so much about yourself could be so exhausting! Just kidding, I'm having a Redbull this morning to celebrate Friday-Time! My wings are back!!

I've decided that based on uniqueness, thoughtfulness, and downright dedication, the winner of my oh-so-coveted guest post will be...

Please go check out her blog right now! Wednesday she posted the most hysterical GIF's of herself and I am still dying over them. And, make sure you're tuning in next week for her guest post. I'm giving her the topic, and I can't wait to read her response :)

I hope you all enjoyed reading about what a wonderful and witty person I am. Have a good weekend, go make some wreaths or clean your house or something like us normal people do!


Kayla Layla's Kraft Korner

Today's blog post is brought to you by the letter K ;)

I'm finally getting around to posting about my little craft session I had over the weekend. Bradley has just about driven me to the point of insanity with sports on television lately (short drive) and so I needed a little something to keep myself preoccupied while he sat and yelled at the television for 10 hours on Saturday.

Even though we are big Cardinals fans in our house and it is the post season, I've been contemplating creating an Alabama wreath for some time now. Our living room and dining room are gray, our kitchen is crimson, and we have houndstooth print accents throughout the house as well. So it just made sense to create a wreath to go along with our Alabama theme.

I also like to do craft projects and talk to myself like I'm Martha Stewart and I'm filming a television show. Don't act like you've never done this. We all want to be Martha deep down.

We took a little trip out to Hobby Lobby Saturday morning to collect my supplies. I brought Bradley along so that he had some say in what I used because I knew he'd be bitching about my choices if he wasn't. I decided to go with the ever-popular deco mesh wreath style that I've seen all over Pinterest. Lucky for me, the mesh was 50% off, which was music to my debit card. Everything else was either 30% or 40% off as well, so the total for all of my supplies was just shy of $28. Not bad for a DIY wreath that goes for $60+ on Etsy.

My supplies included a roll of gray and a roll of crimson deco mesh, a medium-sized wire wreath thing I found in the floral section, a roll of houndstooth ribbon with the wire so that it maintains shape, some pipe cleaners, a wooden A, and some houndstooth felt to cover it.

I started out by putting the pipe cleaners all around the wreath for each section. Since there are four rows of wire, I attached one to the outer-most wire, and the third wire down for each section as such.

I did this because I wanted to basically weave together the two different colors. I started with the crimson mesh and attached it to the outermost section, left about 6-8 inches of slack, and then attached it to the inner pipe cleaner on the next section.

I continued this around the entire wreath and when I got back to the beginning I cut the mesh and attached the end to the wreath with a pipe cleaner.

Then I began adding the gray to the wreath using the same process, attaching it to the outer most layer, leaving some slack, and going to the next open inner section.

Again, once I went around the entire wreath, I cut off the excess and attached the end to the wreath with a pipe cleaner.

When I was done with that part it looked like this. I then went around and fluffed out the mesh and evened it out so that both colors were equally represented and gave it a more rounded shaped. Then I began attaching the ribbon by first gathering the end and tying it to the wreath with a pipe cleaner.


Then I simply wrapped it around the wreath, making sure to evenly space it throughout. 

Again,  I went through and fluffed and puffed so that it looked symmetrical and even. That's the nice thing about the deco mesh is that it's pretty flexible and stays how you shape it. Next I got started on my letter A. I decided to hot glue the felt onto the wood because I figured it would stay on most securely. 

I coated the front with hot glue and laid it on the felt. Then I went around the sides with the hot glue and folded the felt over it to cover the entire shape. This part of the process was the biggest pain in the ass because it was fairly time consuming and meticulous. However, my A looked really cool in the end.

Once that was completed, I took a pipe cleaner and attached the A to the center of the wreath and voila! Super bad ass Alabama wreath for our front door!

I plan on spicing it up a bit with some little football and elephant knick-knacks, I just have to search the internet for some cute cheap ones to buy since I haven't seen anything around here that would match. Overall I think it's super cute and was relatively easy to make.

I'm hoping to go out this coming weekend to get some more fun mesh and possibly start making a Christmas wreath. There are so many fun ways you can customize wreaths and I love getting creative and making things myself so that I can brag about how amazing I am. Oh yeah, and Roll Tide!

In other news, I got my swap package from Amanda over at Cats, Cuddling, and Carrot Cake and I am over the moon! She did such a great job getting me things that I would love and I can't wait to use them all.

I got pumpkin cupcake hand sanitizer (My OCD went wild with excitement) a pumpkin pie candle which is currently burning on my dining room table and smells AMAZING, Cinnabon almonds which I almost cried about (they are seriously so delicious) two cute nail polishes in great Fall shades, Warm Vanilla Sugar hand lotion (one of my all-time favorite scents) apple cider chapstick (I can't even believe that exists it is so amazing) some super duper cute hair ties, and a bird necklace. Obviously the necklace is my absolute favorite gift in the swap, it is so adorable and you all know how much I love birds. I am wearing it to work today and I can't wait to take endless selfies of myself in it :)

It has been so awesome getting to know Amanada and reading her blog. She is such a sweet girl and she's so funny. Everyone needs to go read her blog so that you can love her as much as I do! Thank you again Amanda for all of my lovely gifts, they are all so perfect and receiving your package made my entire week!

Don't forget to keep your questions coming for my Q&A post! I've received so many funny, thoughtful, and unique questions so far, it's definitely going to be tough to pick one as the winner. I'm already starting to answer some of them and I can't wait to share this post with all of you :)


Keepin' It Real - Kayla Layla Style

I was initially going to write my crafty blog post for today, but my camera is all the way in the spare bedroom, and Chordie and I are cuddle up on the couch in the living room. It's too far away to go get, so instead I'm gonna just keep it real.

I'd also like to mention I'm now rewarding myself for blog posting with bowls of Chocolate Lucky Charms. I cannot wait.

I'm actually writing this post on Monday night and scheduling it for Tuesday morning. Why? Because I'm annoyed with the Cardinals right now and how stupid Jon Jay has been tonight. Normally I don't get super worked up, but Bradley is on a roll right now and he's fueling my fire. Plus, I'm already cranky because this night has flown by and I'm not ready to go to bed just to get up and go to work tomorrow morning. I want to sleep in with my Bradley and my Chordie and pretend like it's Sunday again. I don't think that's a lot to ask.

As I was doing my usual blog-creepin' tonight I realized that an absurd amount of you have those robot things where you have to type the random gibberish text and numbers so that you can post your comments. This drives me bat shit crazy. Sometimes, I have to enter them so many times I honestly start to wonder whether or not I am in fact a robot. My iPhone and iPad want to autocorrect everything I type, and then if I click out of the text box for any reason, I can't edit it or add anything else, I can only publish or exit out and re-write my comment. My OCD hates this part of the process. So please, if you love me, remove your robot defense mechanisms so that I can stalk your blogs and comment without issue.

We've been stressing a lot lately over here at the Glover house about how we're going to afford our wedding. Since buying our house, we sank the savings that we had into furnishing it and we had to start all over again. Our original wedding date was October 12th (which was this past Saturday) and we pushed the date back to May 31st. Sunday morning we went to the place where we are having our reception because they were having a buffet breakfast to raise money for Parkinson's research and it was a little surreal to think that we would have been a married couple that day. Now, we're still living in sin and praying we can win the lottery just to be able to have the wedding of our incredibly limited and scaled back dreams. Life is such a bitch sometimes.

I haven't stepped on a scale in a couple of weeks since I got sick, but if I had to guess, I'd say I've gained back all of the weight I lost for the diet bet. As I sit here and fiend for the Chocolate Lucky Charms I'm about to enjoy, a part of me wonders why I keep struggling with this. I'm reading about how all of my favorite bloggers are doing this Advocare Cleanse, eating healthy, and having satisfyingly regular bowel movements. Why don't I jump on this bandwagon and see what it's all about? I'll tell you why. I'm fat, I'm lazy, I'm stressed about money, time, my car, the cold weather, whether or not Bradley is going to eat tonight's leftovers before I can take them in my lunch, how it's only Tuesday, etc. Basically, I am full of excuses. I feel like the world is spinning around me and I'm catching glimpses of all of these things I want in life, and how everyone else is going out there and getting them. I feel like I'm standing still in the middle of the spinning instead of moving with the flow and going after what I want. I can't quite figure out why I'm holding myself back. Paging Dr. Freud.

I'm really loving all of the questions I've gotten so far for my Q&A post. I'm thinking instead of a 5 on Friday linkup, I'll post my answers to all of your questions. Don't forget, the person with the best question gets to humor me like I'm actually a big deal and write a guest post :) I know that incentive alone is keeping you all up at night wracking your brains for the perfect questions that you're just dying to know the answers to. Keep 'em coming!

Whew, I'm so glad I got this done, Bradley just delivered my bowl of cereal. Time to eat my feelings!


Is it Friday Yet?

Does anyone else wake up on Monday morning with this exact thought running through their head?

I need to either find a rich husband (sorry Bradley) or win the lottery because I'm ready to retire and sleep in 7 days a week and have someone else clean my house for me.

Just kidding! Everyone knows cleaning is my favorite pastime.

I pretty much spent my weekend chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool & all. It was glorious. Except for some issues with Gloria, my car.

She's been acting like a big piece of shit lately, not wanting to start and dying when she sits idle at stop lights. Now don't get me wrong, I love my Gloria. It was my dream at 16 to have a Jeep Grand Cherokee. I got her almost 4 years ago, and this coming May she will finally be paid off. So naturally she's starting to fall apart and costing me mucho deniro while we're trying to save up for our wedding.

Bradley the Handyman decided he was going to take matters into his own hands and fix the problem. After all, "It's just the starter babe. It's real easy to replace." Right...

After going out and buying a new starter, he pulls up in the garage and gets to work. Whenever I hear the words, "Bring me my toolbox" I always get a knot in the pit of my stomach.

However, nothing triggers the uneasy feelings quite like making lunch in the kitchen and hearing Bradley say, "Babe, I need duct tape."

Fuck. Duct tape? Really? He claims he was just taping some wires back, but we'll find out once I drive ole girl to work tomorrow morning whether or not she's put back together properly.

Note the roll of duct tape on the left side under the hood. Real mechanical-like.

Thankfully Gloria is up and running again, purring like a kitty cat. My handyman saved the day, duct tape and all. We took her out this afternoon and vacuumed and wiped her down so now she's all sparkling and smelling like strawberries and lemonade. 

Just to keep with the theme of speaking my love language this weekend my house got deep cleaned to the nines and I even made Bradley clean the bathroom drain out so that we weren't standing in a puddle of water every time we showered. After pulling a small Wookie comprised of my hair out, she's draining good as new. 

I am on cloud 9 after getting so much accomplished and Bradley is hating his life. Which is fair considering I've had to listen to Fantasy Football phone conversations non-stop the last week to the point where I want to drop his phone in the puddle of water that accumulates in the shower. Maybe that's the real reason he finally broke down and cleaned it out? 

I also made this super cute Alabama wreath this weekend for our front door. I'm going to attempt to be a "crafty blogger" and write a post about it. I am quite the crafty gal, but my specialty is bitching about life and eating my weight in chocolate while drinking cases of Strawberitas. So that tends to be the theme of this little blog :)

Because I was a maniac this weekend about my clean house and clean car, Chordie Girl here had to get a bath as well. She hates hates hates baths. I asked her if she wanted to go take a bath and she went and laid on our bed and stared at me defiantly. I had to drag her into the bathroom just to get her in the tub. She wouldn't look at me for an hour afterwards. To sweeten her up a little bit, we went out and bought her a brand new Halloween bandanna. Judging by the look on her face, it didn't help.

I'm holding Chordie a little tighter in light of Chris and Holly losing their beloved Chauncey. Chauncey was such a good dog, he was so good with Haven & Olive, and I know how much Chris loved him too. I'm so sad for them today and I'm glad that Chauncey is at peace now in the big backyard in the sky eating all the cheese he can handle.

I hope you all had a great weekend, and that your week goes by quickly. I loved all of the questions I've received so far, and I'm hoping to get a few more so that I can do my Q&A post sometime later this week :)


5 On Friday!

Thank you Jesus for creating Fridays. I live for them.

I'm excited to be back in the saddle, linking up with Darci from The Good Life Blog for my favorite link-up :)

1. Holla for jean day at work! My dress pants are feeling a little snug from packing on a couple pounds the past two weeks. I like to self-medicate when I'm sick by having Bradley get me king-size Twix and Snickers on a nightly basis to ease my pain. Plus, my thought process has already gone to convincing myself it's okay to put on a few pounds because the holidays are around the corner and I'm going to gain weight anyway. Can you say faulty logic?

2. I'm so excited for the Cardinal's game tonight! Game 1 of the NLCS baby! I love baseball, but I get bored watching games during the regular season unless it's against the Cubs because at least the rivalry spices things up a bit. But the post-season gives me such a baseball high. I love the intensity and the drama of it all. Plus, I like rubbing the Cardinal's success in the faces of my Cubs fan friends. That never gets old ;)

3. Bradley tried convincing me last night that we should make the 6 hour road trip to Lexington to watch the Alabama/Kentucky game. Because 12 hours in the car and 4 hours watching a game I'm not in to sounds like the perfect way to spend my Saturday. In the words of Dr. Evil, "How 'bout no, Scott."

Not that I wouldn't want to go to another game with him (the last Alabama game we went to it poured, we were soaking wet, and we discovered they don't sell alcohol at college games) but I'm not interested in an unorganized, spur of the moment trip to go to one. I like things well planned out, and I like enough notice to be able to relinquish some control over the situation. Mostly, I just want to sleep in and drink Strawberitas all day. I have priorities.

Maybe I'll spend Saturday crafting some sort of Alabama wreath for the front door to satisfy his Crimson Tide needs. Blog post idea ;)

4.  I'm participating in this Fall Swap that Allie from Tales of a Twenty Something is hosting and I'm so excited. I got partnered with Ashley from Cats, Cuddling & Carrot Cake and it has been so fun getting to know her and reading her blog. I just mailed out her box today and I can't wait for her to get it and check out all of her goodies. Check back next week for a post about our swap :)

5. I've been thinking a lot about doing a Q&A post sometime soon, so if all of you lovely people could comment with some questions that you are just dying to know the answers to about me, please feel free. I love talking about myself (obviously) and I really want to get a dialogue going between myself and all of you beautiful people who visit my corner of the blog world daily. 

The person with the best, most unique question will get to write a guest post on my blog! Listen, I know I'm not at Holly status where that is like, a big deal, but I want my favorite readers/bloggers to all get to know each other like I do. Plus, I'm going to give you a topic to write about, which is going to be lots and lots of fun to read ;)

I hope you all have an awesome weekend! I'm going to try to kick Bradley's ass into writing that damned blog post he insisted he be allowed to share. His reluctance at this stage in the game just reinforces everything I've already told you about him!!

Check ya later fools!


Some Thoughts from V-Watts

Hey Nerds!

How 'bout them Redbirds last night, huh?! We're big St. Louis Cardinals fans in the Glover house. Bradley's middle name is Louis after the Cardinals, that's how die-hard we are. I just wanted to share some love for our boys, and here's to kicking some ass in the NLCS!

Anywho, one of my favorite bloggers, Veronica, is here today in Kayla-Layla-Land to guest post for y'all. She is one of the funniest people ever, she always posts the funniest comments and sends the most hysterical emails. I know you all will love her just as much as I do after reading this, but not more than I love her. Because that just isn't possible.

Veronica has such an amazing weight loss story, and she looks incredible. The first blog post I read of hers was about taking a selfie of herself and how she feels about the way she looks. In this picture she looked so beautiful and so confident, I had a hard time believing she used to be heavy-set. She is definitely an example of what hard work and determination can accomplish. Veronica is an inspiration to me and I hope I can get my shit together and look and feel as amazing as she does.

Hi KaylaLayla readers! My name is Veronica. My original home on the Internets was www.vwattsthoughts.blogspot.com . Long story short, I've been inactive in the blog world because of some darn spammers. Kayla is trying to entice me back to blogland with a guest post. Well, of course, I had to jump on the chance to do a guest post for THIS blog. If this is your first time catching Kayla's blog, please stay tuned. She is HILARIOUS! Like for real! I have a blog crush on her and I ain't ashamed to say. I usually get a healthy dose of the funnies from her posts while I'm at work. In case you happen to be my boss reading this post today, I meant to say I read Kayla's blogs when I am at home, after work, on my own time, not clocked in using company hours.

So, I'm gonna share my fatgirl slim journey with you guys. We all love a good weight loss story, right? For those of you who haven't had a baby yet I know it can get kind of annoying to hear the whole, "I lost a ton of weight after I had my baby" story. It's like, "Yeah, you are SUPPOSED to lose a ton of weight after having a baby. What about us fat girls that are fat from the get-go?"   Well, let me assure you I was fat waaaayyyy before I got pregnant with my daughter. So hopefully that puts us all on common ground.

I'm gonna try to cram some really important back story into just one paragraph so bear with me. I was 220lbs by jr in high school. I started losing weight the healthy way and got down to about 160ish pounds by 21yrs old. Then I decided to go a lil cray cray and picked up a nice colorful delightful eating disorder-bulimia. I struggled with that hoe for 6 years. Then I got into recovery at the age of 26. I went from 138lbs to 190lbs pdq. For the past 5 years that I've been in recovery my weight has been up and down, although never getting any lower than about 180lbs. I got pregnant and by the time I was ready to deliver my daughter my weight had gotten up to 238lbs. YOWZA! Then after I had her I weighed in at 210lbs. I then very quickly ate my way back up to 216-220lbs. PHEW!!! That was a lot of back story to catch you guys up on where I started on my weight journey this time around. Can we please have a moment of silence for the elasticity that my skin has lost from ballooning up and shrinking down over and over within a decade's time? Le sigh.

Okay, so back in October of 2012 I told my husband that I really wanted to give weight loss another shot. He's heard this spiel several times before so although he was super supportive on the outside I wouldn't be surprised if he was  inwardly rolling his eyes. I started my blog as an attempt to have more accountability. I figured that putting my weight loss attempt out there for the whole world to see might make me stick to it better. I was scared ishless about doing it but I wanted to give it a shot. So there I was in all my fat glory for people to support or to mock. To my shear joy, I found a lot of support. In those early days I remember writing a whole lot about falling off the wagon and really not liking my body. There was talk about double chins, fat tummies, and feelings of failure.

Around that same time the hubby and I started going to couple's therapy. Our therapist was AWESOME! Through speaking with me he was able to see through my sunny disposition and he very quickly pinned down the fact that I was negative and very controlling. How is this awesome, you ask? Well, when I accepted that truth for myself I was able to begin to change it. And by "I" I mean God. I prayed a lot about becoming more positive. It took a while for me to learn not to speak badly about myself. After all, making witty jokes about my thighs and double chin were second nature. Learning to take it easy on myself when I messed up food wise was quite a process too! But little by little things started falling into place. The pounds began melting away. I remember reaching 192lbs. This was the weight I was right before I became pregnant. I finally reached my pre-pregnancy weight. How exciting. Then I remember seeing the scale read 181lbs and I almost couldn't believe it. I had surpassed my pre-preggo weight without even obsessing about it(as I normally would have). Then I remember getting into the 170's. This set of numbers had always taunted me. For the five years I've been in recovery I would get soooo freakin' close to the 170's only to fall off the wagon and shoot back up the 190's. Then I remember reading 169lbs on the scale. HOLLA! In Big Holly's words, "I TOTALLY HAD OPRAH CRY FACE!"  I hadn't been close to that weight in five years. Through out this entire process I had been so appreciative of every single ounce or inch lost but I must admit that seeing my body in the 160's had me feeling like my body was finally beginning to look like what it was meant to look like - healthy body. Early last week the scale read 163lbs. I got so excited that I decided to have three days of glutenous celebration. Okay, that's not the reason I gorged on food from Thursday to Sunday.

I couldn't have you all thinking that my journey has been perfect and pristine. I still occasionally fall victim to losing my mind and going hog wild down the candy isle. I did manage to eat a whole sleeve of Rollos AND a bag of Peanut Butter M&M's at the movies the other night after a nice Hibachi dinner. Yeah, I still got moves like Jagger(if Jagger were a compulsive eater). I find that when my schedule gets screwed with and my gym time gets nixed that I tend to search for normalcy through fatty, fantastic, sensational carbs. I can also see how the accountability that I had with my readers was a crucial part of my journey. Darn you, Kayla! I think you've successfully enticed me back into blog world! So, this week is dedicated to getting my mind right and getting back to the gym. I have goals to reach and fat to evict from their cozy home on my inner thighs. This girl is on a mission!
Thank you all so much for allowing me sneak some very much needed blog time on the lovely Ms.Kayla's blog. I hope you all have a great week. And because my need for blogging has been renewed, I'll see you in the Internets!

You're all welcome for being so persuasive and convincing this lady to come back to the dark side :)

Make sure you leave some love for Veronica in the comments just to reinforce the idea that she need to get her skinny ass back to blogging again!

Peace out Girl Scouts!


I'm still alive!

Kayla Layla here, back in action. Still trying to kick this UTI's ass that may have potentially caused a kidney infection. I had to go back into the doctor yesterday and give two more urine samples. I pissed all over my hand again in the process. You'd think I'd have it down by now. They also took some blood to run tests on. Hopefully I know something soon so that they can give me another antibiotic that will work. My thing is, it's 2013. How is this shit not a piece of cake to cure? What the fuck modern medicine?

So anyway, I'm going to do a little weekend recap even though it's Wednesday because I'm Kayla and I can.

Despite being sick I still woke up at 7am on Saturday and deep cleaned the shit out of my house while Bradley was at work. I scrubbed my kitchen and my bathroom like it was my job and vacuumed until my house was covered in carpet lines. I discovered that I'm going to have to get some Cheerios to throw in the toilet for Bradley so he can work on a little target practice. He's mentioned wanting to get a gun for the house, but judging by his aim in the bathroom, he's got some work to do before we get to that point.

I thought I was going to die after cleaning, yet I felt such a sense of satisfaction and happiness from it that I didn't care. I had all of 20 minutes to shower before my sister Heather and my niece Kjirsten came over, along with the rest of our family. I am given the task for every dance and event in Kjirsten's life of doing her hair and makeup, and since it was Homecoming, I was on the job.

If you've seen me you know that I do absolutely nothing special to myself. I look exactly the same everyday. So it's fun for me to live vicariously through pretty people who can rock a versatile look. Kj is also incredibly beautiful so she can pull off just about anything and look amazing.

I know, she's a freaking knock-out, right? Clearly she gets her good looks from me.

For real though. I was also given the task of photographing her and her boyfriend along with all their friends. I felt so bad for the other girls who had to stand next to her and have their picture taken. She just blew them out of the water. Pretty people have it so rough.

On Sunday we had our annual JDRF fundraising walk. As I mentioned before, my nephew Kohlton is a Type 1 diabetic just like Bradley. Every year he has a team and we all wear shirts and participate. It's always a lot of fun, there's games and prizes, free food, and typically the weather is always really beautiful.

Kohlton and Bradley were buddy-buddy the majority of the day doing diabetic activities like playing catch and checking their blood sugars.

Sometimes it's so hard for me to believe that this is all mine. Eat your heart out ladies.

Afterwards I went home and laid in bed and pleaded with the Lord to just take me. Being sick really brings out my dramatic side.

Anyways, I'm feeling slightly better, but I still overall feel like shit. I'm ready to pee without fear!

I came home last night and my Bradley had dinner on the table and a beautiful bouquet of flowers for me. Because he put it on nice plates he considers it to be home cooked. As long as I don't have to clean up I don't care where it came from.

Bradley has been so good about taking care of me and he's been so so sweet. I almost wish I was sick all the time so would keep this up.

On a side note, can we talk about Bruce and Kris Jenner separating? What the fuck Kardashians? First my homegirl Khloe and crackhead Lamar, and now Bruce and Kris? If Kourtney and Scott split, I'm done with life.

Thanks for listening to my word vomit for the day. Tomorrow I will have a special guest post from my girl Veronica that I am so so so excited about!

Later Taters!


It's Friday and I've quit caring about life

Don't you love the creative blog titles I come up with?

I don't know how I do it, it's just like, a gift from God or something.

I am so freaking glad it's Friday. This UTI has pretty much ruined my week. I haven't had a single Redbull, I'm in pain, I'm tired, I'm cranky, I'm hungry, and I'm ready to lay in my underwear this weekend and watch TV without any responsibilities.

Yep, you just got Rick Rolled in the most awesome way possible.

Really though, I have never been so happy for it to be the weekend in my life. I'm not doing a link-up today, I'm not going to stress about my emails, I'm not even going to yell at Bradley about the dishes in the sink. Because I'm just glad I made it to Friday, and the rest can suck it.

I have to get my niece ready for homecoming Saturday afternoon, so I need all the rest and patience I can muster for that event. Afterwards I have to take pictures for her, and then hopefully I'm well enough to drink a case of Strawberitas and brainstorm funny blog topics.

My little brother also turns 23 on Saturday, which makes me feel incredibly old. I'm glad he was born in 1990 so that I can quickly do the math to calculate how old he is at any given time because I'm always forgetting. Which also makes me feel incredibly old. 

Sunday we have our annual JDRF walk we participate in for my nephew who is a Type 1 diabetic. He was diagnosed less than a month before his second birthday. He doesn't know a life without it and it's very important for us to raise money for a cure. With Bradley also being a Type 1 diabetic, the chances of our children having it are fairly high. Participating in things like this makes me feel like we are taking steps towards changing not only my nephew and Bradley's lives, but my future children's lives as well.

I hope you all have an amazing weekend. I have appreciated all of your funny comments, and everyone who has expressed an interest in button swapping. I promise I will respond to each and every one of you like I always do. It just might take me a day or two, I need a little R&R tonight. I need for it to stop burning when I pee. And I need caffeine.

I pray all of my dreams come true by tomorrow.



You are a liar if you say you don't love Oprah. Plain and simple. She is the HBIC (Head Bitch in Charge) of the world and we all should bow down to her O-ness.

If I could be one person in the world, it would be Oprah. She's a freakin' billionaire for starters, which is obviously my favorite reason why I want to be her. But she can also pretty much do and say whatever the hell she wants to and she gets away with it because she's OoooopppRRRahhHHH (said in my best Oprah voice).

Let's just break down a few reasons why I absolutely love Oprah, shall we?

We shall!

1. She is unafraid to rock an edgy or trendy hairstyle. Oprah is known for her hair choices, both poor and well, really poor. She can do whatever she wants and gets away with it because she's Oprah. Remember the time she wore Tina Turner's wig for a good solid month, went on tour with her, and even thought at one point she was Tina's understudy?

This was probably my favorite bad hair phase for Oprah. In fact, probably my favorite awkward phase for Oprah in general. She should have been happy she is Oprah, and not tryin' to be all like TiInNNnAA TUUrrRRrNnerRr.

2. Be honest, we were all more than excited when Oprah had a musical performance on her show. Nothing made my day quite like watching her clap off-beat, dance awkwardly, and sing the wrong words front and center in the audience.

Remember when she even attempted to sing her own theme song? I know it was terrible, but all I can remember is the beginning when she would say "Here we go" and I would think to myself, "Great. Here we go again."

Thank God they cut that shiz way down in the editing room a few weeks in so we didn't have to suffer anymore before our afternoon Oprah fix.

3. Oprah is known for giving out free stuff. I would go to bed at night and pray that God would make it so that I could be in her audience for her Favorite Things show. It was my Mecca. I haven't given up hope that she will revive it someday and I will get to be there. I desperately want to be that person in the audience that the camera keeps cutting to who is just losing her mind in every way possible. I will ugly cry like it is my job.

This guy is my all-time favorite. His reaction sums up the entire experience. I watch this and I just hear him screaming in his head, "THANK YOU JESUS!"

4. Speaking of ugly crying, Oprah is the Queen of the full-out Ugly Cry. I'm not pretending like I am the prettiest crier in the world. I can UC with the best of them. But there is something about Oprah's ugly cry face that just conveys so many emotions. It's a cross between sadness, devastation, and I even detect a hint of hunger, but maybe that's just me. Either way, it's not pretty, but it's perfect to me.

I also love the moment when Mary Tyler Moore surprised Oprah and she freaked out hardcore. I've never had Mary Tyler Moore surprise me before, but my reaction to the return of the McRib is very similar to this.

5. I know there are some haters out there that want to put O down, and who might have some negative opinions about her. I'm sure to an extent you're probably right. She does come off as a little snobbish sometimes, maybe a little self-righteous, and somewhat of a know-it-all. If you were a self-made billionaire with one of the most popular and longest running talk shows of all time, wouldn't you be?

Get real. You would.

So she's allowed to be whatever she wants. Because she's done a lot for society, and she's started a lot of dialogues that wouldn't have even been mentioned if it weren't for her.

I always think of this episode where she had this Father and his son and daughter on because his wife, their mother, had abandoned them. Watching this little boy talk about how it felt to have his mother leave him and not call or come back, watching him cry, hearing the pain in his voice, kills me to this day. And as he sat on that couch and started to cry, Oprah went over and sat next to him and held him, and she cried as well.  That was one of the most genuine, heartfelt, and heartbreaking moments I've ever watched on The Oprah Show.

That's why I watch. Because she brings out the humanity in people, and it brings out the humanity in her. And we can all sit and watch and relate, and it changes us. Maybe we didn't realize it at the time, or maybe we did and we still think about it to this day. Kind of like myself. But it's there.

That's the real reason I love Oprah. She's helped change the way we think and the way we talk about what we think. Oprah is the Queen, and if you don't like it, deal with it.

Random Things from my Brain

So as I told you yesterday, I've been pretty sick. Turns out, Kayla Layla has her very first UTI (is that TMI? Maybe I just like using acronyms?). Bradley has been the biggest sweetie pie the last few days taking care of me while I acted dramatic and squealed loudly when I peed. I think Chordie has been having some sympathy pains as well because she's been bringing her own drama and driving Bradley insane.

I am loving every minute of it.

Anyways, I finally went to the Dr. after four days of suffering, and now I have all the meds I need to make me feel better and to turn my pee into a vibrant shade of orange. I am literally pissing Fall over here folks. Too bad it doesn't smell like Pumpkin Spice, I'd have it made!

So I told you all about my photo session I had on Sunday, which was so much fun. It was for my sister Heather's best friend Amy and her family. Amy is like my 5th sister. I've known her my entire life, and she and Heather have been friends I think since before I was even born. Her husband Paul and their daughter Olivia were just a blast to work with and I think they turned out pretty darn well in my opinion.

On another note, I've been thinking about the idea of button swapping. Is anyone interested? I want my blog to look like all the cool kids who have sponsors. Except my buttons will be free and I'm not quite a cool kid. If this sounds like something you'd want to do, leave me a comment so we can swap!

I wish Bradley had a blog so that everyone could harass him until he writes his blog post. He was all gung-ho about it and now he's using the excuse of "having to take care of me" for why he's not done yet. So as a repercussion, follow him on Instagram @bradgl0ver (that's a zero instead of an O) and haze him until he cooperates. He only responds to brute force, so I'm using alternative measures aside from my usual nagging and bitching.

Geez, I really must be sick!


Winner Winner Chicken Dinner Dietbet Style

The last couple of days I've been MIA because I've been sick. Being the good wife that he is, Bradley has been taking care of me and cleaning the house to my liking. Hopefully he'll find time tonight to write his blog post since he's no longer busy being my nurse maid ;)

My photo session went incredibly well Sunday morning, and hopefully later this week I'll have time to post some images, but for now, we have more pressing matters at hand to discuss.

Like how this girl "won" Skinny Meg's Diet Bet!

I didn't actually win as in "first place for all the marbles" type deal. But, since I lost at least 4% of my weight, I qualify as a winner. So at the very least I'll make my $25 back, and hopefully a little more depending on how many people didn't meet their 4% goal who will forfeit their money. Suckers.

My total weight loss for the month of September was 8.6 pounds. I weighed myself the day before and came in at 190.0, and I was like, "Okay cool, by tomorrow when I weigh in I have to at least be somewhere in the 189 range!" Nope. I weighed in at exactly the same weight. Go figure.

Our starting weights were 198.6 and 239.6 respectively, and we were hating every pound of it. Yesterday I weighed in at 190, and Bradley at 228.6. Together we lost 19.6 pounds in the month of September. We've been cranky and hungry and caffeine deprived, but we worked hard and stuck to our goals and we are so proud of each others progress.

I feel like in my before and after pictures I don't really notice a change, which is frustrating. 8.6 pounds is a lot of pounds to lose in my opinion, but I don't think the pictures do it justice. I can however say that my clothes fit so much better now. My work pants are comfortable and my muffin top is no more. So while I may not at first glace look like I lost almost ten pounds this month, the buttons on my pants are definitely feeling the change.
Bradley on the other hand definitely looks like he's lost 11 pounds in his midsection. Where before he had some serious love handles, he looks more smoothed out. His face also seems less bloated and he definitely has had a lot more energy the past few weeks.
The diet bet has been both a blessing and a curse here at the Glover household. While it has been great at making us accountable and giving us a goal to reach for and work toward, it has also been a crash course in reality. I don't know that we're both mentally ready to make all of the changes we need to make to keep this weight off and keep moving forward.

And I'm not ashamed of that.

What I've learned in my weight loss journey is that you can't force it to happen. If you're not ready to lose the weight and cope with life without junk food and sitting on your ass five hours a night watching TV, then it just isn't going to happen for you. Or if it does, you won't keep the weight off because you're not mentally doing what you should be doing.

This isn't my first rodeo folks. I know my brain and I know my body. I need to get myself mentally committed to working out, eating healthy, and giving up all those bad habits that I love so much. I just don't know how to get myself back there. When my Father passed away, it was like a light bulb went off in my head and I was just able to live it and do it. Now, I don't know where to start.

But I can tell you this; I will make it happen. It might take me a few weeks to build myself up to going to the gym. Getting my feet wet again. Eliminating bad habits like not eating breakfast and ordering a soda when we go out to eat. But I will do it. I just have to prepare myself and dedicate myself to it. Otherwise I will fail. Plain and simple.

To all of you who go to the gym everyday, who eat your fruits and veggies, who drink your protein shakes and who prepare your healthy meals in advance, my hat is off to you. If you could bottle that knowledge, willpower, and energy, please let me know so that I can buy some. I am truly jealous of you and I appreciate the example you set to live a healthy and fit lifestyle.

And to those of you who are like me and you can't get your shit together, don't give up. Weight loss isn't a period in your life, it's not a phase, and it sure as hell is not something you wake up one day with all the answers to. That's why I always call it a journey. Because I feel like I'm always in search of the skinny girl inside of me, and I just have to figure out the right path to get to her. Some days I wish I just had a freakin' map to her already, and other days I spend hoping she gets fat too so that she's easier to find.

Either way, I just need a little guidance and a lot more motivation. I will do this, and once I get started I will be unstoppable. I just have to work on getting started first.