My photo session went incredibly well Sunday morning, and hopefully later this week I'll have time to post some images, but for now, we have more pressing matters at hand to discuss.
Like how this girl "won" Skinny Meg's Diet Bet!
I didn't actually win as in "first place for all the marbles" type deal. But, since I lost at least 4% of my weight, I qualify as a winner. So at the very least I'll make my $25 back, and hopefully a little more depending on how many people didn't meet their 4% goal who will forfeit their money. Suckers.
My total weight loss for the month of September was 8.6 pounds. I weighed myself the day before and came in at 190.0, and I was like, "Okay cool, by tomorrow when I weigh in I have to at least be somewhere in the 189 range!" Nope. I weighed in at exactly the same weight. Go figure.
Our starting weights were 198.6 and 239.6 respectively, and we were hating every pound of it. Yesterday I weighed in at 190, and Bradley at 228.6. Together we lost 19.6 pounds in the month of September. We've been cranky and hungry and caffeine deprived, but we worked hard and stuck to our goals and we are so proud of each others progress.
I feel like in my before and after pictures I don't really notice a change, which is frustrating. 8.6 pounds is a lot of pounds to lose in my opinion, but I don't think the pictures do it justice. I can however say that my clothes fit so much better now. My work pants are comfortable and my muffin top is no more. So while I may not at first glace look like I lost almost ten pounds this month, the buttons on my pants are definitely feeling the change.
And I'm not ashamed of that.
What I've learned in my weight loss journey is that you can't force it to happen. If you're not ready to lose the weight and cope with life without junk food and sitting on your ass five hours a night watching TV, then it just isn't going to happen for you. Or if it does, you won't keep the weight off because you're not mentally doing what you should be doing.
This isn't my first rodeo folks. I know my brain and I know my body. I need to get myself mentally committed to working out, eating healthy, and giving up all those bad habits that I love so much. I just don't know how to get myself back there. When my Father passed away, it was like a light bulb went off in my head and I was just able to live it and do it. Now, I don't know where to start.
But I can tell you this; I will make it happen. It might take me a few weeks to build myself up to going to the gym. Getting my feet wet again. Eliminating bad habits like not eating breakfast and ordering a soda when we go out to eat. But I will do it. I just have to prepare myself and dedicate myself to it. Otherwise I will fail. Plain and simple.
To all of you who go to the gym everyday, who eat your fruits and veggies, who drink your protein shakes and who prepare your healthy meals in advance, my hat is off to you. If you could bottle that knowledge, willpower, and energy, please let me know so that I can buy some. I am truly jealous of you and I appreciate the example you set to live a healthy and fit lifestyle.
And to those of you who are like me and you can't get your shit together, don't give up. Weight loss isn't a period in your life, it's not a phase, and it sure as hell is not something you wake up one day with all the answers to. That's why I always call it a journey. Because I feel like I'm always in search of the skinny girl inside of me, and I just have to figure out the right path to get to her. Some days I wish I just had a freakin' map to her already, and other days I spend hoping she gets fat too so that she's easier to find.
Either way, I just need a little guidance and a lot more motivation. I will do this, and once I get started I will be unstoppable. I just have to work on getting started first.