8.30.2013

Is today the day after Thursday or the day before Saturday?

Hey Hey Hey!

It's Friday! That deserves a Zorro snap in  Z formation!


I live for Five on Fridays peeps. I can't wait to make a list that consists of five things, and they all happen to be super important to me. This is the formula for pre-weekend success!

Let's break it down!


1. Three day weekend say what! Thanks to Labor Day, I get to sleep in and watch as much reality television as possible on Monday. I might even consider venturing out of my house for a few drinks somewhere. Having Monday off gives me so much extra space to do activities!


2. We have some super awesome plans for tonight! Check back on Monday for a recap ;)

3. What's with all the fast food employees picketing? Or is this someone else picketing outside the fast food places? All I know is, I went out for my usual Dr. Pepper run on my lunch break and I had to detour to the gas station for a fountain soda because there was what appeared to be an angry mob staked out outside McDonald's. I would do just about anything for a fountain DP from Mickey D's, but getting on the wrong side of a crazed mob of strangers isn't one of them.

4. I came home Thursday night and Bradley had thoroughly cleaned our house. I'm talking carpet lines in every room, swept and mopped the bathroom and entryway, bleached the bathroom, took out the trash, finished the laundry, and put away all of the dishes since our dishwasher is on the fritz. To top it all off, he wasn't here when I got home, so it immediately felt all wrong. Like he had paid someone to come do it. After some thorough questioning and seeing the beaming smile full of pride on his face, I determined that it was in fact him that cleaned. I couldn't have been more surprised or excited!



He was so impressed with himself he even Instagrammed a picture of our living room. While his cleaning skills are up to my standards, he obviously needs to work on his picture taking abilities ;)

5. Kayla Layla gets her first paycheck today! Woot woot! Gotta hit up Target as soon as I get off work tonight. Sorry Bradley, money just burns a hole in my bank account. Does that make sense? It does to me!

Have a great Friday everyone! What are your plans for this three-day weekend?!


 

8.28.2013

Happy Birthday BLG!

Today is my Bradley's Birthday! 
Happy Birthday Pookie Bear!


Even though he's the big 2-7, he's still a lot closer to 7 in many, many ways.
This is an evaluation of Bradley's from Kindergarten. Note the comment "needs to make some gains in maturity." It's like this was written yesterday.

But whatever age he acts like or is, I love him times infinity. So, in honor of his 27th birthday, I'm going to take a step out of my comfort zone and make a list of 27 reasons why I love him. Because I love him so much, I'll create a list that ends in a prime number. My love knows no bounds.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!

1. I love you because you are the cutest boy ever and you make the silliest faces and say the most awkward and random things. I'm always laughing when I'm around you. Except when I'm yelling at you to put the toilet seat down. Then I'm scowling.

2. I love you because the other day I was complaining about being hungry during the day at work and not having snacks and so you went out and bought me some granola bars to keep at my desk.

3. I love you because you know just how important carpet lines are to me and you are so proud of yourself when you vacuum and it's to my standards. Now that's a real man!

4. I love you when you jam out to Kanye & Jay-Z in your car with your hat on backwards. This is how I think of you when I think about us first falling in love.

5. I love how much you love Chordie and how good you are to her. I especially love when I come home and you have her laying on the couch next to you even though she's not supposed to be up there. She has you wrapped around her paw.

6. I love you because you finally started putting your underwear in the basket every morning instead of leaving it by the bed. A little public shaming goes a long way!

7. I love you when you try to make dinner for me. Even when it's just grilled cheese and tomato soup. You try really hard and it makes my heart happy.

8. I love your big ole booty! It's the first thing that attracted me to you. Bradley got back!

9. I love you for putting up with my crazy 99% of the time. From the OCD to the bossiness right down to how grouchy and mean I get when I'm hungry, you've still stuck around.

10. I love you for proposing to me a second time the night we got engaged. After several celebratory drinks and shots you got down on one knee and proposed again; in the style of Randy "Macho Man' Savage. My response? "Oooohhh yyeeeaaaahhhh!" Perfection :)

11. I love you because you're the best Uncle ever.  Period. They all love you so much and it makes me smile whenever I see you with them. It also shows me just how great of a Father you'll be someday too.
 

12. I love you because you worked your ass off to lose your excess weight. You inspired and motivated me to do the same. I'm so glad I have a partner in this. I wouldn't want to go through it with anyone else.

13. I love you because you've tolerated my recycling these past few months without a proper bin. And I really do appreciate all those times you had to trek back and forth between the garage and the shed just to store all the extra water bottles while we waited for the city to finally deliver our new recycling bin. Mother Earth thanks you as well.

14. I love you for all the times you've woken me up in the middle of the night freaking out because you thought someone was in the house. I now know this is just something you Glover's do. And even though you followed ME through the house in your birthday suit carrying a hammer while I checked to make sure no one was here, I never thought any less of you. In fact, I'm thankful you gave me a great story to share with anyone that will listen.

15. I love you for not being really handy. I secretly think it's adorable. Except for the time the thermostat broke and our house was 85 degrees for about a week. You convinced me we just needed to replace it so we went out and finally bought a new one. When we got home and you took off the old one, only to discover it just needed new batteries, I obviously wasn't that mad at you. I didn't kill you or anything.

16. I love you because the factory where you work makes you wear a hairnet, and when I come see you, you look like a lunch lady. A sexy lunch lady ;)

17. I love you because you love to tell people you're "latino" because you're half Panamanian.  Except you are a ginger and look absolutely nothing like a latino. But dammit, nothing's going to get in the way of your pride, not even red hair and freckles!

18. I love you because you know pretty much everything about sports. Even though I hate watching sports constantly, and you know more about the 1998 St. Louis Cardinals roster than you do anything about me, I still think it's cute that you are so passionate.

19. I love you for not wearing Hurley t-shirts anymore since we've been together. Thank you for taking my advice and dressing like a responsible adult. I didn't even have to secretly throw them away like I had threatened to do.

20. I love you for keeping a flashlight on your nightstand so that every morning at 4:30 when you get up for work, you don't have to turn the light on and wake me up.

21. I love you because you need me. And I love taking care of you. My life is complete when you are happy.

22. I love you because you can't sit down while you talk on the phone. You're so quirky like that and it cracks me up. And I appreciate that you've taken your pacing down to the basement, because you were starting to wear down our brand new carpet.

23. I love you because you always try to hold my hand when we're driving in your car. Even if it is awkward because you drive a stick shift. You still always do.

24. I love you for encouraging me to start this blog. I know how you like to take alllll the credit, but I will give you that. You've been saying for months that I should at least see what it was all about and you were right. I love it.

25. I love you because you work so hard for us. You will work 12 hours a day five days a week in a 90 degree room just to make sure we have money and all the things we want and need. Only a real man would make that a priority, and I love you so much for all you do.

26. I love you because you lay in bed and sing me our song.



27. I love you because you're mine. Forever and always. I could not ask for more, and I can't wait to see you with gray hair someday. I'm looking forward to spending the rest of this lifetime with you by my side <3

8.27.2013

Keepin' it Real with Kayla Layla

What's up boys & girls?!

So, if you know me in "real" life, you know that I just love to keep it real.

Why?
That's why.


So, here's a few things I need to keep it real about today:

1. Let's just get this out of the way already. I've never been so hungover off a person as I am Miley Cyrus right now. I talked about her all day yesterday to anyone who would listen. I can't stop. I won't stop.

2. I'm getting sick and tired of assholes in morning traffic. It's like, if you're in such a fucking hurry, leave your house early for crying out loud! Stop making shoving your face full of Fruity Pebbles such a priority and consider the lives and schedules of others on the road. Douche lords.

3. Speaking of, raise your hand if you left the house yesterday in flip flops instead of flats and got all the way to the gas station for a Red Bull when you realized this.


*ahem... raises hand*


Truth.


4. I can't even bring myself to discuss Khlo-Mar right now. I'm a mess of epic proportions. I hope this is where mine and Khloe's similarities end. I'll still be keeping a close eye on Bradley for signs of crack cocaine addition just to be safe.

5. Don't google "Crack cocaine addition signs" because if you're like me, you'll spend  45 minutes of your life reading things you already know from watching Intervention while simultaneously checking over your sleeping significant other for signs of substance abuse.

6. I'm still laughing about this

Never gets old. For real.

7. I can't even handle the abundance of coupons and ads we get in the mail at our house anymore. It's like every pizza place in town knows we're trying to eat better and lose weight so they've made it their mission to test our willpower on the reg. Really Papa John's? Really?! Don't do me like that!

8. I'm already at the point where I wish Fall and Winter would get here just so I can stop worrying about factoring a leg shaving into my morning routine. Ain't nobody got time for that.

9. Let's get really real. We all know I'm not gonna wait until pants-wearing weather to stop worrying about shaving my legs...

10. My OCD with numbers is beyond cray. I'm not particular about even numbers (only sometimes) but I prefer numbers that are significant to me for various reasons. In the car, the volume on the radio can only be at 19,21,25, or 30. I prefer numbers that are divisible by 5 and I hate prime numbers (except 19.) It also drives me nuts when you add your name and blog link to the list for a link-up and you end up on an odd-prime number that isn't 19. That happened this morning. Bible, it totally threw my whole day off.

I need therapy and possibly medication for this.


Thanks for Keepin' it Real today err'body! Anything you need to keep it real about??



8.26.2013

Weekend Shenanigans!

Ugh. 

Monday.

I know I'm not the only one who woke up like this today


The beginning of the week is upon us yet again. The only thing motivating me to get out of bed this morning is linking up with Sami to talk about my weekend Shenanigans!



Friday night my sweetie and I went out for dinner to celebrate my first week at my new job. We ate our weight in chips & queso and had our pants unbuttoned before we even made it to the parking lot. 

Afterwards, we met my family at the riverfront for some ice cream and to let the boys play at the playground. Their favorite part was throwing anything and everything they could find into the river. My favorite part was washing my hands when I got home.

Saturday morning Chordie and I got in some major snuggle time because Bradley had to work. Girlfriend didn't waste a second claiming his spot AND his pillow on the bed when he left. 

For dinner I made us Crockpot BBQ Chicken sandwiches and zucchini boats. My sister has a huge garden and gave us a bunch of zucchini. I've been looking for ways to cook with them and couldn't really find a recipe I was totally sold on, so I improvised and came up with my own. They were so so so good! I would have taken a picture of the sandwiches, but Bradley forgot buns at the store when I sent him there to get a few things. I was feeling merciful so I didn't make him go back again to get them. We ended up eating them on regular bread. For shame!

And I finally got to use our new cups we bought in Houston. Strawberitas taste so much better in Houndstooth. Roll Tide!


Sunday we had a couple of people over for Bradley's Fantasy Football draft, or as I like to call it "a waste of time." My brother-in-law is in the league with them so he came over and brought the boys. Everything always starts out as a brawl, with the three of them constantly beating the crap out of each other. So I used my go-to method for instant obedience; a good ole fashioned threat. I told them they wouldn't be putting on their new costumes unless they smiled for a picture. Voila, a Kodak frickin' moment!

They spent the rest of the afternoon shooting each other with their billy clubs and putting out fires in my bathroom. 

Their favorite thing by far was getting to arrest Uncle Bradley, or as they like to call him, Uncle Poophead. When he resisted, they proceeded to use brute force. I think they may have bright futures in law enforcement/fire fighting.

Sunday night was VMA night, and I must be getting old. I didn't know a lot of the people on there, and I was definitely less than impressed. But I am going to say right here and right now that I love me some crazies. And I don't care how weird and bizarre Miley Cyrus is, that bitch is cray and I loved it. Who else has the balls to rock the same hairstyle as Angelica's doll from Rugrats? Does this make me sound even older?



And of course, who didn't love the over-hyped 15 second N*SYNC reunion? Thanks for letting us know you're still alive Chris Kirkpatrick. By the way, congrats on finally ditching your dreadlocks too.



Did anyone else watch the VMA's? What did you think?!


Sami's Shenanigans

8.23.2013

Five On Friday!

I'm linking up with Darci from The Good Life Blog for 
Five On Friday :)
1. My first week at my new job is in the books! It's been such an adjustment from being with my nephews every day and laying on the couch while they feed me fruit snacks, to working at a desk and rockin' a muffin top in my dress pants. I am excited to be back at a "real job" so to speak. Not to say that being a Nanny wasn't work because, let's get real people. How many days have you spent fishing things out of the toilet and watching three year olds pee on ant hills because they "wanted to make a river"? But I'm really loving my new job and the work it entails.

2. I cannot wait to catch up on my DVR this weekend. I am ashamed to say I have not watched a single Real Housewives episode all week. I know, start throwing the stones now. But the upside to this is that I'll get to watch them all back to back, feeding the Housewives beast inside me for an extended block of time. I. Cannot. Wait.

3. Speaking of Housewives, this will be me at 5pm tonight


4. My horoscope on Wednesday was eerily accurate. It's like, it knew about my little blog over here, and it was trying to tell me something. I've been thinking about it nonstop.


5. I saved the best for last. I'm guest posting today for my home girl Holly over at Where We Can Live Like Jack and Sally so get your asses over there and check it out!!!!

8.21.2013

I Believe in Miracles

First and foremost I want to shout a huge thank you from the mountain tops to Holly and Chris for getting me started in this little corner of the world and for giving my blog a face lift that would make even a Real Housewife jealous. You both are the bomb dot com and I am so grateful to you for all of your help and support :)




*I posted briefly yesterday about my nephew's first day at Pre-K. Today I want to share their story, and how I came to work for them*

So, I haven't really delved into my job as a nanny on here. I'm right smack in the middle of a transitional period in my life that involves moving on from that job. But its more than just a job to me. I have worked for the last three years and almost nine months as a nanny for my sister. She has almost four year old triplet sons, and I have been there everyday since before they were born.

Let's back up a hot minute so I can do this story justice. There's a lot to say, and it's still hard for me to say it. You see, my sister Jaime tried for many long, hard, disappointing years to get pregnant. Finally, the doctors told her conceiving on her own just wasn't going to happen. That was a blow for all of us that I'll never forget. So being the incredibly strong woman that she is, she picked up the pieces and she moved forward. She and her husband Kent decided to give IVF a try.

The odds are stacked against you with IVF. There are people out there who have tried in vain for decades and spent thousands of dollars and never had any luck. This is where our family's miracle starts.

It took one try. Just one. The first miracle.

Two fertilized eggs, one that split into two, and with the odds stacked against them of having even one child, quickly things turned into beating the odds a thousand-fold by carrying triplets. I'll never forget the day my sister sent me a text at work with one word. "Triplets." The second of our many, many miracles.

Carrying triplets is already an incredibly high-risk pregnancy for anyone. Things were made even more complicated by my sister's complete placenta praevia. Basically, the placenta of the identical twins was laying very low in my sister's uterus. The risks of this included bleeding and premature delivery. So, as a precaution, Jaime was placed on bed-rest at 20 weeks in the hospital.

I would get off work at my retail job and spend evenings at the hospital with her. We would sit and fantasize about what they would look like, how they would act, and who they would be someday. I would bring her food (she was eating for four ya know!) and we would sit and watch "To Catch A Predator" and laugh. Then we would scour the Internet looking for potential predators in our own neighborhoods and get paranoid. We're a mixed bag together to say the least. I'll never forget those times with her in the hospital, they are some of my fondest memories for sure.

One beautiful, blue-skied morning in September, I arrived at work at 8am. Some of the other managers and I were hanging out, filling out paperwork for the day and waiting impatiently for our Starbucks to kick in. At 8:15 the phone rang. Another manager answered it and her face dropped. I knew before she said a word what the message on the other line was. My other sister Heather was calling to say that Jaime had been taken for an emergency c-section about a half an hour before. She had no answers for me other than that. Immediately I started hyperventilating. I have never known such primal fear and shock in my entire life.

So, I left work as fast as I could, trying to keep myself together on the inside and outside. But the truth was, I was losing it. I didn't know what I was going to find when I reached the hospital. To put it frankly, I didn't know of the four of them who was going to still be Earth-side when I arrived. That is terror at it's darkest point. I will never, ever, ever forget that feeling. It shook me to my core.

I was the first one there because I worked in the same town that my sister's hospital was located. I went to the floor she had resided on and they sent me to the waiting room to wait for news. Slowly, my family members started showing up and we just sat and prayed together. Prayed for their safety, their health, and any news at all to come our way. At around 9am, they told us she was being wheeled into her post-op room and that the boys were down in the NICU. They were all alive. This was our third, and most beautiful miracle yet.

I won't go into detail about the medical hardships that each of them initially face. It's still a little hard to talk about and it is quite extensive. Being a micro-preemie is one of the biggest fights to be fought, and I don't like to go back to that place where I picture them in incubators with CPAP masks and IV's. Especially now when I see these perfect faces looking back at me at almost four years old. I will say that D,K, & G (I won't post their names to give them just a little anonymity) were born at 8:01am, 8:02am, and 8:03am and each weighed in at 2.5 lbs, 2.1 lbs, and 2.0 lbs respectively. They were born 13 1/2 weeks premature, and were incredibly lucky that my sister was able to hold on as long as she did. It meant the difference between life and death for them.

From left to right: K, G, & D (Around 70ish days old)

As ashamed as I am to say this, there was a moment where I lost my Faith. A few days after they were born, the doctor's called the entire family up to the NICU. K had a grade three brain bleed. There are four grades total. It was dire. I lost my mind to think that God would do this to my sister. That he would do this to this innocent little boy. That I had bought my sister three of everything I could find and she would have to look at these extra clothes and that it would tear her apart. I cursed God and everything else. As I walked away trying to console myself, I ran into a woman who was concerned that I was crying. The words poured out of my mouth and I told her the whole story. She simply looked at me and grabbed my hand and said "Honey, let's pray." So we did. And there was God again, even when I had given up all hope. Yet another miracle.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and after 77 days for D & K and 79 days for G, babies were home! All five pounds of them! They needed fed and changed every three hours, medicated multiple times a day, and they were hooked up to heart and breathing monitors. It was very tiring for all of us in the rotation trying to help out Mom & Dad. One day I had a conversation with my sister about where they would go when she went back to work. She simply said she didn't know, and she couldn't afford to quit her job because of all their medical expenses. That's when I knew what my next step was going to be.

So, I quit my job as a retail manager and went to work for my sister. There is not a day that goes by where I do not praise God for that opportunity. I cannot express in words what they have done for me and how much joy they have brought to my life. I went from working a shitty job where I was obese and literally losing my hair, to being surrounded by the three most beautiful souls I've ever known. The happiness they brought to my life was definitely another inspiration for me to lose the weight. They helped me learn to love myself, and gave me a reason to be happy with my life. The miracles just kept coming.

Now almost four years later, I have to say goodbye (sort of.) I'll see them all the time I'm sure, but in my heart it won't be the same. It's like going from seeing your own kids everyday to a couple of times a week. It's a heartbreaking concept to grasp. That is why I was a horrible mess for their first day of Pre-K. Because in a small way I'm losing them. But in my heart I know that it's time for them to move on, grow up, and shine their light on the rest of the world. They fought so hard to live, and fought so hard to beat every odd imaginable. They have become such intelligent, articulate, loving, and independent little boys over the last four years. Pre-K is just another victory for them. One of many that have passed, and one of many more to come.

So that is their story. At least the Cliff Note's version. I wanted you all to know where I'm coming from, and what my transition is all about. That way, as you follow along with me on my journey, you'll have a better understanding of where I'm going. If you take anything from this, I hope it's that Faith will overcome any obstacle you face, and that God will never give you more than you can handle. He gave us three of the most amazing souls to guide through life, and they have taught me personally so much.

They've shown me how to fight when I want to quit, how to laugh when I want to cry, and how to love somebody until it hurts. 

I truly, truly do believe in miracles. I've seen them with my own eyes.

From left to right: D, K, & G



8.20.2013

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

This morning was my soon-to-be 4 year old nephew's first day of Pre-K. I've been working as their nanny for their entire lives, so today was hard to say the least. I'm pretty traumatized right now, so I just wanted to share a photo of them from this morning. Once I can stop ugly crying long enough to form intelligent sentences, I'll tell the story as a whole.

I wish someone would have told me it was going to be this hard.




8.18.2013

Sunday Social

Sunday Social

I've decided to get crazy and try out my first ever link up. I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing but I sure as hell am going to pretend like I do.

So, I'm linking up with one of my new favorite bloggers Ashley Lately. I think she's totes cute and we're both obsessed with Dr. Pepper. A woman after my own heart! So, I hope this works? Here goes nothing!


1. What is something you've always wanted to do but are afraid of?
Start a blog!! I used to LiveJournal back in high school, and I revisited it a few weeks ago. I am both proud and ashamed of myself if that is even possible. It was so therapeutic for me, and I felt like I could explain myself in a way that really helped my peers understand me better. Now, I just want to connect with people and cut out all the disingenuous bullshit and keep it real. Call it a quarter-life crisis.

2. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Definitely married, settled into a career in photography/graphic design, and hopefully a mother. The marriage thing I have locked down (sorry Bradley you're stuck), I'm currently a senior in college (it only took me 8 years and 5 majors), so the one thing I'm most concerned and uncertain about is becoming a mother. I was diagnosed with Endometriosis when I was 21. If you've never heard about it, let me just tell you, it fucking sucks. So, I'll just leave that one in God's hands.

3. What are you looking forward to before the end of 2013?
I really want to get focused and dedicated to fitness and a healthier lifestyle. It's been such a struggle trying to marry my "healthy & fit" life with my 26 year old "enjoying my youth" life. I will find a balance, I just need to get my head in the right place. I also want to gain a lot more experience in photography. I need a mentor!

4. What are your hopes for your blog?
I just hope that people find me who want to hear what I have to say. I want people to connect with me on a different level because they have no preconceived notions about me and are hearing my story firsthand. I also want to keep it as real as possible, and "go there" whenever possible. I don't want any candy-coated bullshit. That's what my blog is about at it's core; accountability.

5. Do you always see yourself living in your current town/city?
Absolutely. My freshman year of college I moved to NYC and studied at Pace University. I had all these ideals about being a big city girl at heart and finding myself and my independence. All I found was a loneliness for my family, friends, and my small town. I'm okay with having to drive 30 minutes for a decent restaurant and shopping. I like knowing everyone's business and having them know mine. And I like our "world's greatest sundial" dammit!

6. What is your morning routine?
Alarm goes off, instant terror (I have a fear of alarms. The sound gives me heart palpitations)
Go pee.
Take Chordie out, watch her walk around the yard for 5 minutes before doing her business.
Feed and medicate Chordie.
Shower/makeup
Fantasize for a minute about doing something to my hair and then coming to my senses. It's like 8 feet long. Ain't nobody got time for that.
Leave for work after compulsively checking to make sure I have everything I need to leave the house and making sure the door is locked and that I have my keys. (Sometimes I wonder if I have control of my OCD or if it controls me?)

Whew! That was painless and fun!

8.17.2013

Khloe Kardashian and I are the same person

I love Saturday's because it gives me a chance to appease my OCD's ritualistic tendencies and deep clean my already clean house. It also allows me to catch up on my DVR. I haven't watched Keeping Up with the Kardashians in three weeks (GASP!) so I decided to go to Greece with the fam.

Khloe has always been my favorite Kardashian for many, many reasons. I can identify with her, she is hilarious, and so unafraid to be herself. I'm pretty much convinced she and I are the same person, and here's a list of GIF's that explain why (See what I did there? Still catering to the OCD.)

1. We have no filter. Girlfriend and I speak our minds, and are pretty cut & dry. She has no problem letting someone know wazzup to their face and this is basically my trademark as well ;)
 

2. Totally self-explanatory. Preach it sister!


3. We are both unashamed to shake what our mama's gave us. In fact, I just learned tonight at dinner with my family that at my sister's wedding a couple of weekends ago, I may have shoved my tits in my 15 year old niece's 16 year old boyfriend's face. In my defense, I don't remember it because I may have had 10 a couple of shots that night. Whoops.


4. We are both vulgar as F*%#. We put sailors to shame. Now, I'm an incredibly intelligent woman. I got a 28 on my ACT for cryin' out loud. But I am not ashamed to drop an F bomb while I'm busy curing cancer and writing a best selling novel all simultaneously. Can I get an amen?!


5. We are both clearly animal lovers. Just put us both on the fast-track to sainthood.


6. Let us fly our control freak flag proudly. Ain't no shame in my controlling game babe.  


7. Bible, I spend 99.5% of my time giving people this face. It's like, we are both just astonished at other people's stupidity. Did your mom every tell you if you made a sour face it would freeze that way? Well, clearly this face just made us prettier. Sorry 'bout it.



8. Lezbehonest, we are ha-freakin-larious. And, we share the same mentality regarding saggy balls. Great minds really do think alike.


9. Speaking of, we are both highly revered philosophers. Plato, Aristotle, Khloe Kardashian, Kayla Layla. We're all cut from the same philosophical cloth. My most famous quote? "Life is like a box of chocolates; for every delicious caramel or fudge, you get a nasty ass coconut or orange creme. So screw the box of chocolates and buy yourself a bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. That way, you can enjoy every bit of life." Deep.


10. Both of our names start with 'K'. It's like, I was meant to be a Kardashian. No GIF needed ;)



Aren't Khloe and I so wonderful? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to fill the bathtub up with candy and wait for Lamar Bradley to get home.

8.15.2013

Confessions of a Dog Mom

Get ready to get creeped out folks.

I am a dog mom. Yes, you read that right.
 My dog Chordelia is my absolute best friend. She is my constant companion and my cuddle bug. I don't leave the house without her if I can help it, and she follows me around aimlessly wherever I go. If I walk into the kitchen, forget what I was doing and walk back out, she's right behind me. If I go into the bathroom and shut the door, she lays right outside until I come out. If I take too long, she slaps at the door to let me know it's time to hurry up.

I adopted her from a shelter when she was just 8 weeks old. I found her on the Petfinder website, and it was love at first sight. The shelter was two hours away from my house, and I had to wait three days after officially adopting her to take her home so that she could be spayed and vaccinated. Longest three days ever.

Now let me just say that I have always been a dog person. Growing up, I had another dog named Shadow that I adopted from the local animal shelter. He was my best friend and constant companion too. When he passed away from cancer, I didn't know if I could love another dog again. It just hurts too much to lose them.

But one day the idea just came into my head. I needed a puppy. So once the three days were up, I drove in the sleet and snow two hours away to get her. I've never had a kid, but when the lady gave her to me, it was like being handed your first child. I was hooked.

I chose the name Chordelia because I am a huge nerd and my favorite TV show of all time is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Buffy seemed too generic and corny, Willow was too witchy, and Anya doesn't really leave room for a nickname. Plus, Cordelia on the show was super pretty, popular, and eventually became psychic AND another one of Angel's love interests. Bingo. I changed the spelling and added an 'H' because I like to be difficult. 'Nuff said.

So, I'm just going to come right out and say that I am one of those people who dresses up their dog. Nowadays she wears mostly bandannas because she grew to be fifty pounds and about three feet tall standing on all fours. She closely resembles a deer in stature. And like her Mom, it ain't easy finding clothes to fit big girls.
For real though. She is seriously the most beautiful dog of all time. She's an Australian Shepherd/German Shepherd mix and I have never seen another dog that looks like her. I get compliments all the time about her beauty and I stand there and take credit for it like I bore her from my own loins.

As a puppy, Chordie loved to dress up for different holidays and rock a chic look like a boss. As an adult dog, she's totes over it. Note the expression on her face dressed as Rudolph. Take a hint Mom. She's also the only dog I've seen in real life who, when in a good mood, will smile for a photo op. Fierce deluxe!
Chordie is definitely not one of those "active dogs." And by that I mean, she doesn't like to be awake. Girlfriend will nap 18 hours a day and then look at you like you have five heads if you ask her if she has to go potty. She loves a good pillow and a cool room. She also is sort of a freaky sleeper. Most puppies will run in their sleep, bark, eat, whatever because for some reason the part of their brain that induces paralysis doesn't function correctly. Chordie never grew out of this. She sleeps in bed with us and will violently wake us up with her reindeer legs kicking full force.

Since she was a puppy she has always loved puppets. Her favorite toy of all time is this puppet called Mr. Beaver. She got so aggressive with the poor guy I had to go buy three more just so she wouldn't run out. Chordie also loves windows. If there is a window, she's looking out it. She loves to live vicariously through other dogs who actually like to be outside. However, she does love the snow. She runs around like mad and frolics in it for about five minutes and then she retires.

I have never known a dog to have as much attitude as Chordelia. Everyone who knows her says she is a person in a dog's body. That could not be more true. She has so many non-verbal cues that I know what/how she is feeling at all times. When she's pissed, she pulls her ears back or flicks them around real snappy like. When she's happy she comes up to you and smiles while tilting her head back and forth. She loves everyone and everything and anyone who has ever met her falls in love with her too.

I know that people who don't have dogs or who have never formed that deep of a bond with an animal will never understand. But she truly is my best friend in the entire world. She is completely in tune with my feelings, and will respond accordingly. When my father died, I laid in bed that night and just sobbed. Chordie literally came and laid directly on top of me and held me until I calmed down. I don't know of any human being who has ever been as empathetic and comforting to me as she has been.

About four months ago she was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease called Stomatitis. Basically, she gets sores in her mouth, it effects her eating, and she will vomit for days straight. She has to take steroids for the rest of her life, maintain a strict diet, have her teeth brushed daily, and can no longer enjoy Puppy Lattes from Starbucks. I don't know if it will effect her lifespan, and I don't like to think about it. I would not be okay if something happened to her.

I'm gonna go ahead and apologize for writing such a long blog with so many creepy pictures of my dog. She means the world to me and when I love something, I love as hard as possible. I'm really proud of how intelligent and beautiful she turned out to be. She's the best $94.50 I've ever spent in my life. If you've never had a dog, or never had a close bond with an animal, you are truly missing out. The love of a dog is unconditional. They will never judge you by your appearance, never hurt you or let you down, and they will never, ever, leave your side. I am so grateful for the day that God brought Chordelia into my life. I could not ask for a better companion.






8.13.2013

Diary of a Chubby Girl

So, in case you didn't notice by my pictures, I'm not exactly a fit & trim kind of gal. In fact, part of my inspiration for starting a blog was to meet people and read their stories on weight loss and fitness. The majority of my friends are short and skinny. They've never been overweight and can't relate in the least bit to the struggle I've experienced my entire life. I need friends who can give my guidance and support in my continuing journey.

At my heaviest, I was 260 pounds. I'm a little embarrassed to even say that on here, but it's so far behind me now that I owe it to myself to put it out there. I've come such a long way.
To be honest, I'm not even sure that this picture is me at my heaviest. I avoided taking pictures like the plague because I hated the way I looked, and most importantly, the way I felt. 

While I was always heavy throughout my life, my weight didn't really reach a scary place until I was around 21-22 years old. I was in an incredibly unhappy place in my life. I hated my job in retail, I was in a very unhappy relationship that I felt stuck in, and I had pushed all of my friends away. Then, in March of 2011 I lost my father.

I won't go into details about our relationship (I'll save that for another blog post) but I can say that it was incredibly tumultuous and traumatizing. Watching my Father die was about as life changing as it could possibly get. As I watched the life leave his body, I felt the weight of the pain and heartbreak leave my own. I truly felt that his gift to me in his passing was to release me from my emotional chains. I can never, ever describe in words what that felt like. 

My father's only and final gift to me was my freedom. And that for me meant letting go of the weight that I hid behind like a shield.

So after his passing I decided to turn my life completely around. I joined the local gym and got a trainer. I educated myself on how to eat better, and I finally gathered the courage to get out of my unhappy relationship. In one year I lost 90 pounds. To say that I was mentally and physically ready for a change was an understatement. Once I reached 170 pounds, I could not believe it was me looking back in the mirror.
My life just seemed to fall into place. In December of 2011 I met the man who was to be the love of my life and my future husband. I could not have been happier or more proud of just how far I had come. I truly felt like I had it all. A few months into our relationship I became a little too preoccupied with being young and in love. I started to spend less time at the gym and more time making big fat Pinterest-inspired meals for myself and Bradley. I drank soda, beer, and ate dessert to my heart's content. Being in love took precedence over maintaining my acquired healthy lifestyle and new body. Unfortunately, the both of us started to pack on the pounds.

By February of this year we had both put on extra pounds to the tune of double digits. When we bought our first house together, we took a picture in front to commemorate it. It wasn't until I saw how big we were in that photo that I realized that I was dangerously close to getting back to where I started two years prior.

So about five months ago Bradley joined a "Biggest Loser" type competition with his co-workers. He inspired me with his hard work and dedication partnered with his commitment to win this challenge. It lasted three months, and in that time he ended up losing a total of 40 pounds and looked and felt amazing.

I lost a total of 20 pounds during that time and really felt like i was finally getting back on track as well. My clothes fit better, and I had more energy and stamina that I had had in quite a while.
I wish I could say that the rest of this story has a happy ending. But I'd be lying. That's the thing about being a "fat girl." Whether you're fat or skinny on the outside, there will always be a part of you that stays a fat girl on the inside. And every once in a while she wants to come out and eat until she can't eat no mo'.

So, the past month has been a struggle. Bradley has put back on ten pounds and I'm up five since coming back from Houston. I feel like a failure. I wish to God I could keep my shit together and quit going back and forth. I wish it wasn't such a fight to stay thin. I wish I truly felt worthy inside of a beautiful body.

With all of that being said, (which I know was a lot, but I needed to put all of this out into the universe), I am trying to climb back into the saddle. I know that there will never come a day where I am skinny and I don't have to work both mentally and physically for it. I know that this will always be a battle that I have to fight. But I am so grateful to have Bradley by my side for support and understanding.

We are entering yet another journey to change our bodies and minds. I really needed to talk about this here because I want to feel like I am accountable to other people besides just him. Bradley and I can be our biggest supporters or our worst influences. I need an outlet to express these things and try to stay strong and on track for the both of us. There is no part of me that thinks this is going to be a breeze, and after reading so many different blogs about other women's journeys, I know it always gets harder before it gets easier. But I can honestly say I am so looking forward to getting back up and trying again.


Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

I often walk into a room and say this in the style of Mrs. Doubtfire and no one gets it.
So we just got back from our vacation to Houston and it was just what the Doctor ordered. We don't often get to do anything fun because we are house poor/wedding poor, so it was nice to escape the daily grind, even for just a few short days.

We went and visited Bradley's sister Noel, her daughter Eliana, and his mother. They relocated to Houston early last year and this was our second trip down to see them. I love Houston because it is a big city with lots of things to do, but it is relatively laid back and easy going. I don't feel the pressure to go-go-go, nor do I feel like I'm being judged for being a tourist and photographing everything cheesy and cliche in sight.

I love the chance to spend time with Bradley's sisters. Not only do they make for great future sisters-in-law, but I feel like I can also call them my friends. Noel makes me laugh until I literally cannot take a breath in, and she is so welcoming and such a great hostess. We had a blast.

We did all the tourist-y things while we were in Houston, which I absolutely love. Since I'm also currently dabbling in photography it was a great way for me to really work on my skills and gain a little confidence behind the camera. We visited the Houston Zoo, the Houston Aquarium, the local beach, and NASA's Johnson Space Center. It was an absolute blast and such an incredibly fun experience.


My favorite moment by far was getting to pet the stingrays at the Houston Aquarium. They were seriously like puppies, coming up out of the water and splashing along the sides to get your attention. I was all about it, but Bradley had to warm up to it for a few minutes before he gave it a go. If you ever happen to have an opportunity to pet stingrays, do it!!


At the heart of all the fun was the joy it brought to my Bradley. Visiting his family is so important to him. All of his sisters live in different states, so getting together with them can be challenging. I know how much he loves and respects them and nothing makes me happier than seeing him together with them and feeling the love they have for one another. The last time he and both of his sisters were all together was this time last year for his birthday. We all had so much fun and that experience meant so much to him. I hope sometime soon it can happen again.


 Overall, our trip to Houston was an incredible experience and I'm so thankful for the time we all got to spend together. I think sometimes I take for granted that my entire family lives in the same town and we are all so close. I talk to my mom and sisters daily, and we are the type of family that doesn't get off the phone without saying I love you. Right now I'm just feeling really grateful for my family on both sides of the aisle, and I could not ask for more.