9.27.2013

Thank You Sweet Baby Jesus it's Friday!

I have been such a good girl all week. I set a goal to blog every day and I did it! I am freaking tired from maintaining my house, working, my homework, and this little slice of heaven over here in blogland.

I could NOT be any happier that it's Friday because I love linking up with Darci from The Good Life Blog for 5 on Friday. She is so cute and funny, and we even posted the same e-card last week for our 5 on Friday's. We are basically twins ;)





1. I had such a great response to my posts about mine and Bradley's love story beginnings and I can't thank all of you enough for reading along. He's told me that he would like to write a rebuttal to said posts telling his side of the story (ahem, and denying the cold, hard truth) so I've decided to give him the platform he needs to basically reinforce everything I've already told you about him ;)

The best comment I received was from my girl Becky over at Call It Serendipity. I just about died laughing reading this so I have to share it now with everyone.

"Sweet Story :)

I gotta say though isn't it good that girls mature before boys and that with maturity comes patience and acceptance?? Boys can be so ridiculous. :)"

Burn! 

Talk about hitting the nail on the head (with the hammer Bradley sleeps next to every night because he's scared of the dark constantly thinks someone is breaking in) with that comment!

Make sure you check around next week to read his lies post!



2. Who is excited for the Real Housewives of New Jersey Finale this Sunday?? THIS GIRL!

Shit is gonna go down people, and I am ready. Teresa can suck it.



Is anyone watching I Dream of NeNe or Tamra's OC Wedding? I haven't even had a chance to start with them yet but I'm hoping this weekend is my time!



3. Tonight my nephew's have a School Carnival at the Christian School they attend and I'm so excited to go meet their friends. Whenever I ask them about the kids in their class, they only ever talk about this kid named Brandon. I guess Brandon is a bad ass because he took a pair of scissors and cut his own hair. My nephews talked about him like he was a rock star. I can't wait to meet Brandon and check out his hair cut tonight!



4. We are so close to the end of Skinny Meg's Diet Bet! I haven't weighed myself in two weeks because I'd already reached my 6 lb goal. I haven't really worked out, I've just changed my eating habits and slowly weened myself off soda (which has really sucked) so I'm eager to see the final number on the scale.

Bradley has a couple more pounds to lose, but being a guy who can drop weight like crazy, I'm sure he'll be fine. He's been addicted to soda and sunflower seeds lately which has driven me INSANE. I will find them in my shoes, all over the floors of our house, and even in my purse. There's even a sunflower seed in the break room at work that fell out too.

He was even going to the extreme of "couponing" them at Kroger. The had bags with a $1 off coupon, and they were on sale for a $1, so he'd go in there and take off all the coupons and get them for free. Just the other day he tried this and they wouldn't do it. I think this has discouraged him enough to quit. At least for now.


5. Sunday morning is my first paid photo session and I have been so excited/nervous all week. I can't wait to share some pictures from the shoot next week :)


I hope you all have a great weekend, get out there and get a Pumpkin Spice Latte already!




9.26.2013

Keepin' it Real: Encore

I had a structured blog post in mind today keeping with my theme of funny and silly story telling. But this week has really worn me down. Right now I need to bitch out all of my frustration with the world and keep it really real, yo.

Let's start with the most pressing issue on my mind. I'm fat. I don't give a shit about being "PC" or being too hard on myself. I am a fatty. I'm just going to come right out and say that after the bike ride I took last night with Bradley, I'd rather be fat than exercise. That's just where my brain is at. I know I'll be fine once I get back into the swing of things because I know how good I will look and feel. But try explaining that to my sore ass muscles today from being so tense riding on that tiny bike seat.

We are getting a Gold's Gym Express in our town that opens November 1st. Bradley is all about it, and I am pretty excited too. Except it's Fall, I can hide behind layers now, and I'm anticipating the McRib's return soon. I am not mentally prepared for this yet, and I need to be.

I just don't get why we have to worry about getting fat. We have so many other things to stress out about in this world. We have terrorism, West Nile Virus, endless poverty and unemployment. I mean shit, I can't even microwave the food that's making me fat in a plastic container without possibly getting cancer from it. Don't we have enough to worry about without being overly concerned with how much we weigh and how we look? Can't we all just enjoy a McRib together and forget about it for a while?



TV is also really stressing me out right now. During the week, I don't even have time to turn it on. DVR has single-handedly (Is that even a word, handedly? Did I make that up? I feel like that's a thing though, but my computer is telling me it's wrong?) ruined my life. There's so much pressure to watch all of my favorite shows, and because we have DirecTV, we can record five things at one time. We never have to worry about missing anything. The con to this is that, for someone like me who is OCD and crazy, I have to watch every single everything of my favorite shows or I feel like a failure. But if my % of free space is getting low, I get nervous and feel like I need to delete stuff.

These are the things my crazy brain worries about. These are seriously my first-world problems. God help me.



I am so addicted to RedBull right now that I would qualify for Intervention. Just the thought of going to work one morning without it gives me anxiety. I can't deal with people calling me all day without my wings so that I can fly away from the crazy. I need to invest in some Spark like all the cool blog kids, but I'm poor and scared of things I can't just buy from Wal-Mart.


I googled RedBull and found this. What kills me the most is how they typed out a separate letter in French. You just can't trust the French around RedBull I guess.

Speaking of cool blog kids, I know this is really stupid, but it's a little discouraging to see how all of you have like 500+ followers and I'm over here like, "At least Bradley reads my blog." I know I shouldn't measure the quality of my writing based on how many followers I have, because the followers I do have are amazing. I feel like I've forged such great relationships with all of you and I feel like I know you (not in a creepy way) and that we have this common ground together. But dammit, I wanna be popular too. I want Green Giant to contact me about eating green beans like they did Holly. I want people to go into a frenzy over my photoshopped Instagram pictures like Mama Laughlin.


Is that so much to ask? I know I'm being shallow and silly right now. But I'm feeling really fat today and I'm craving some cookie dough ice cream like a mother. Let me cry about not being cool if I want to.


I am also really tired of Comcast right now. We have our internet through them and they just sent me a bill for $51.99. Yes, $51.99 for ONE month of internet. Apparently our six month deal is over with. So I plan on contacting them and making someone wish they had called in from work that day.

For real though, $52 for one month of sub-par internet service? They are smoking RedBull out of crack pipes over there if they think I'm paying that a month.

Speaking of crack pipes, I'll let my old friend Whitney Houston explain what I'm going to tell them on the phone.




I'll just leave you with that for now. Sorry for hopping aboard the Crazy Train today.  I feel much better already :)

9.25.2013

The Greatest Love Story of All of the Times Part 2

So by now you're all probably thinking, "That Bradey, what an idiot!"

Right?!

And he kinda sorta was. But like I said, he's such an awkward person. He always says the wrong things at the wrong times. He always does the wrong things at the wrong times. He loves laughing when someone is crying and making jokes when someone is angry. While this will sometimes drive me absolutely bat shit crazy, it also makes me love him that much more. He always has me laughing and I never quite know what I'm going to get.

So, back to the story...

After we made up at the bar that night we started texting again. It was Christmas time so we talked a lot about what we were getting our families and what kinds of things we did over the holidays. I learned a lot about what a great Uncle he was and how much he loved his nieces and nephews. This was something that greatly attracted me to him because I play a big part in my nieces and nephews lives too. It was such a beautiful common ground to have.

Shawn and Bethany were still trying to help us facilitate the beginnings of this budding relationship, so a couple of weeks after we started talking we met them for dinner. A double date so to speak. Bradley and I hadn't hung out one on one yet, though we had talked a great deal. We spent the evening chatting together like couples who had been together for years. I remember even letting him hold my hand under the table. It all just felt so right.


As we were leaving, he walked me to my car, and I had a feeling he was going to try to kiss me. While I'm not exactly a prude, I certainly didn't want to give away all the goodies to someone I wasn't in a committed relationship with. So we stood outside my car and talked for a minute. It was made all the more awkward by Shawn and Bethany who were sitting in their car in the parking lot watching us. As we were saying goodbye he leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the lips, and then he walked to his car and gave Shawn the thumbs-up. I guess maybe he felt like he was making some ground after two weeks of waiting.
Our first picture together
A few days before Christmas, he was telling me how he still hadn't finished up his Christmas shopping. He mentioned how he needed to go up to the mall, so I offered to go with him and help him out. We had never been alone together before, and I was super nervous. It sounds pretty silly now, but I had butterflies like crazy. When I picture riding in the car with him that day, it almost plays back in my head like a movie. He held my hand even though he drives a stick shift, he had his hat on backwards, and he was blaring the new Jay-Z and Kanye West CD. I feel like I fell in love with him that day driving in the car, like I just knew in my heart he was the one for me.

I guess technically, this would sort of be considered our first date. And true to Bradley/Kayla fashion, it was unorthodox and awkward. As we were shopping, I got my first taste of how indecisive he is. He will pick up ten things and put them all back as he goes along through the store. When he finally settled on the things he needed, we headed to the food court to grab some pizza. I don't remember why exactly it happened like this, but I ended up buying our food. So on our "first date" I got to follow him around as he picked stuff up and put it back, and then I bought lunch. Go figure.

On Christmas night I met a couple of my friend's at a bar that was open and we hung out and had a few drinks. There was this guy there who I went to school with that I hadn't seen in a long time. He was fairly intoxicated and all over me in a really disgusting way. I was texting Bradley to please come down there and save me from him because he wasn't taking the hint.

When he finally showed up, I ran over to him and gave him a kiss and hug to try and show this guy that I was with someone. I'm literally begging Bradley to do something to help me out. What does he do instead? He stands there with his friend and laughs at my unfortunate situation. Evidently, this was more amusing to him than it was to me. Finally, the guy's friends called him a cab and got him out of there. But when I looked around for Bradley, he was nowhere to be found.

I was asking all of my friends, "Did you see where he went? Is he in the bathroom?" No one had a clue. 10 minutes went by. 15. 20. Finally a get a text a half an hour later from him that says "Sorry, I got sick and had to leave. I will call you tomorrow." I'm thinking to myself, what in the hell is wrong with this kid? Is this a bullshit lie so that he could dip out and not hang out with me?

Turns out, ole boy had a few too many drinks on an empty stomach, threw up in a garbage can in the middle of the bar while some poor lady was watching, and then immediately left because he was embarrassed and sick. I really couldn't make this story up people.

Strangely enough, this was sort of cute to me. In retrospect, knowing him like I do now, it was probably really hard for him to see this other guy all over me. And because he wasn't my "boyfriend" at the time, he probably didn't feel like he should step on my toes if another guy was hitting on me. So I think he drank a lot to take his mind off of it, had more than he should have in a short amount of time, and paid the price. What a sweetheart he is for liking me that much, right?

That's the story I tell myself anyway :)

We planned our first "official" date to be for New Year's Eve. He had it all planned out for us and he was taking me to a surprise restaurant. I went out and bought this super cute little black dress for the occasion. Being a former fatty, I'd never owned a LBD before, because I never could have pulled it off. But I was banging in this thing. I felt like a million bucks, and I couldn't wait to show it off to him.

So he picks me up on NYE at 8 and we head off to this top secret location that I am not privy to at the moment. I can tell by the way we're getting on the interstate and the direction we're going that we were heading to a nearby city that has a lot of food places to chose from, unlike our hometown. When we finally get there, we end up driving around the city for like 15 minutes. We keep passing all of these restaurants and I'm thinking, what exactly are we doing here? By this time he's really quiet and acting a little nervous. Finally he says, "Uhh, so I guess I don't exactly know how to get there. I was going to surprise you and take you to the Olive Garden, and I thought I knew where it was, but I was wrong."

I am shaking my head and laughing as I write that. Who does that? Who takes someone out on a "surprise" date and doesn't think far enough ahead to get directions?!

Bradley does, folks. I just sat there and laughed and laughed at him and we both just cracked up at the situation. I am so grateful for that moment because it could not have made our first "official" date any better. I love love love telling people that story.

Of course naturally after dinner we met up with all of our friends at the bar to wait for midnight. I was feeling frisky so I let him be my New Year's kiss. Turns out, it was the best one I'd ever gotten.
Our first NYE and first "official" date
I found out later from him that he was hoping to have stayed somewhere with me that night. Apparently he had packed a backpack for the occasion with his pajamas and his night time insulin in it. I still can't get over how cute that is. When I ask him about it now he always says, "It was because I wanted you to know what a cool Under Armour backpack I had." Riiiight.

We went home that night and talked on the phone together for 6 hours. I couldn't tell you what we talked about or why we stayed up until 7 in the morning, but we were crazy and falling in love so I guess that's a good enough excuse. I was convinced by this time that he was the one for me.

Four days after NYE, he finally asked me to officially be his girlfriend. I was so over the moon about this, and I was glad to really call him mine. It took us a month to get to that point, and there were a lot of rough patches along the way, but it was all worth it when he requested to be in a relationship with me on Facebook.

Here we are almost two years later. We got engaged (which is another funny story for another day), bought and remodeled a house together (which I would need a week and copious amounts of alcohol to relive for all of you) and now we're beginning to plan our wedding together. Everything is exactly how it was meant to be, and I am so very grateful for this love story of ours.

It hasn't been an easy couple of years for us. Bradley had a seizure behind the wheel early last year, and another right in front of me a few weeks after that. We have both struggled with our weight and feelings of depression over how we got to be so big. He's held me while I sobbed like a child over my Father, and he's put up with my neurotic OCD tendencies and my condescension.

But we are here, and we are a team. I couldn't ask for a better partner who always makes sure I have fresh flowers in the house, and who gets me sweet Hallmark cards just because. He tells me I'm beautiful when I'm down on myself about my weight, and he goes and gets me a soda when I'm on the brink of crazy town after work. He will even lay in bed at night and sing me love songs which still makes me blush. He is perfect to me, and he has the sweetest face I've ever seen.

So while Bradley was sort of a screw up in the beginning, he has definitely redeemed himself 100% since then. I'm so glad I could see through all of that to who he was at his core, which is an incredibly loving, hard-working, laid back guy who would do almost anything I asked him to.

Our story definitely is not typical, and parts of it would have made anyone else leave before it even began. But I knew when I first looked at him that he was going to be the one for me. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be able to say that this great big idiot is all mine for the rest of my life :)

Who knew a year to the day after our first official date that we would be engaged and crazy about each other?!


9.24.2013

The Greatest Love Story of All of the Times Part 1

So, by now you all know about my Bradley. He's my future husband, my best friend, and the biggest thorn in my side. I couldn't live a day without him and his copious amounts of laundry. Plus, the couch cushion that is permanently indented from his ass would miss him a lot too.


But how did this love story come to be you ask?

Did we meet each others glances in a crowded room at a dinner party?

Maybe we met in the rain and shared a taxi that delivered us to paradise?

Was this some sort of match.com type of arrangement?

Better!

What our story lacks in romance, it makes up for in awkwardness. A lot of it. Because anything involving Bradley "Socially Awkward" Glover is, well, awkward. Our relationship was basically founded on Bradley screwing up multiple times in the worst way possible, and me being too crazy about him to care. This is a consistently occurring theme to this very day.

See, all throughout grade school, junior high, and high school I had known of the Glover's. I didn't know Holly, Bradley, or Noel personally, as we were all in different grades. But I knew who they were simply because we all attended the same schools.

At the time that we met, I had just switched from working second shift for my sister as her nanny to first shift. My brother-in-law took a new job, so the change in my work schedule allowed me to finally be able to go out with my friends in the evenings and on the weekends.

Because I was the skinniest and sexiest that I'd been in my whole life, partnered with being single for almost a year, I was all about going out and having a great time. I wasn't really looking for a relationship though. In fact, I was happy with the idea of finishing school, establishing myself, and then eventually finding a sperm donor and having kids alone. This was honestly my plan and I was really content with it.

One night I met one of my best friends, Bethany, at the bar for some drinks. Her boyfriend (future husband) Shawn was there as well with one of his friends and they were seated at a table behind us. I knew his friend's name was Brad, but other than that, I really didn't think much of him at the time.

At one point he got up to go to the bathroom and I noticed he had this great big booty. I'm talking, you could bounce a quarter off that thing. I love a man with a big butt, and I remember thinking to myself, "Dayum!" I was totally willing to look past the fact that he was wearing a Hurley t-shirt and RVCA hat for dat ass.

We eventually ended up leaving and heading to another bar where Bradley and I talked for the first time. He was pretty drunk and he kept telling me to add him on Facebook. He also mentioned a few dozen times that he was a "supervisor" and interjected this into the conversation whenever possible. When he stepped on and scuffed up my suede boots, I was a little annoyed with him and called it a night.

The next weekend I was out with Bethany and Shawn and a couple of our other friends. Somehow Bradley got brought up and Shawn was like, "Yeah Brad has a thing for you." The fat girl in me replied with a "Really?!?" My friend Megan interjected with a, "You didn't know that? Everyone knows that." Needless to say, I was feeling pretty bad ass at this point. He was super cute, he had a great booty, and he made me laugh a lot despite being a Hurley shirt wearing supervisor who steps on people's expensive boots.

This particular night also happened to be Bethany's little brother's 21st birthday. So we went to a couple of different bars, and Bradley eventually met us out after work. He and I spent a good part of the night talking. A lot of it was exchanging stories about our nieces and nephews, and how he loves UFC and sports in general. I  just remember thinking he had the sweetest smile I'd ever seen. I was smitten.

However, things started to turn a little ugly. Bradley can be a sloppy drunk. He was all over me in the worst way and being all touchy-feely, which is totally not my style. At one point he had me pinned up against a pool table trying to kiss me which I was not having. My milkshake is not for free.

After a couple of hours of him trying to get fresh, we went back to our friend's parent's bar where we hung out after hours a little longer. Bradley definitely needed cut off by this time because he was all over the place. At one point he even stole my phone and updated my Facebook status to say "I like to poop." How original. After getting my phone back and having to turn him down several more times, I'd had enough and left around 3am.

As I was leaving, he walked me out and said "My phone is dead, how will I get your number?" Being a little annoyed with him I said, "Do you have Bethany's?" He looked at me like I had 10 heads. "Yeah?" I just gave him a blank stare. Clearly he didn't get the memo on working for it. So I looked at him and said "Okay well figure it out!" And went on my way.

The next night he sent me a text and we started casually talking for a couple of days. He was working second shift at the time and so at night when we would talk he would be at work. One night, I had sent him a text and then planned on going to dinner with my sister. Since he hadn't responded yet I sent him another telling him that I was sorry for bothering him and that he didn't have to keep texting me back if he was busy because I was going to dinner anyway. I get a text maybe an hour later from him saying "Yeah and she keeps blowing up my phone and shit. Like for real, I told her I was at work, wtf?"

Being the genius that he is, he sent me a text that he meant to send Shawn. This would eventually become a habit for him. He is always easily confused.

So I sent him a text back saying, "HAHAHAHAHAHA" And then I heard nothing from him for a few hours. When he did finally put his tail between his legs and respond he said, "Sorry that was meant for someone else. I take it you hate me." To which I replied, "Should I?"

It would be another week before we spoke again. This has also become a pattern in our relationship to this day. He screws up and then waits for me to make it right again. So predictable.

The following weekend was my friend Megan's graduation from college. So to celebrate, we went out on a bar crawl of sorts and had a really great time. To be honest, I really didn't put much thought into Bradley that week. He was clearly the type to make up and exaggerate stories to his friends to try to sound cool, when in reality it could not be further from the truth. Typical male characteristic. In my mind, it was his loss. Though secretly, I was hoping we might bump into each other.

We did end up meeting at a bar towards the end of the night and I pretty much ignored him. I wasn't worried about giving him the time of day. As I sat at the bar talking to my friends, he came and sat beside me. Knowing he was there, I wouldn't turn around to look at him. He kept saying my name and trying to get my attention but I wasn't really having it. So finally he grabbed my bar stool and spun me around to face him. I can still picture in my head the look he had on his face. It was this smirk I would come to know very, very well. He knew that whatever he said, I was going to buy into. He knew I was just playing a little hard to get. He knew he was going to win.



Bethany and I the night I decided to give BGlove a second chance

I'll leave you with that little cliff hanger until tomorrow. The second half of this story is really good and I want to be able to do it justice without making this post seem like a novel.

I promise you, it only gets better :)


9.23.2013

Weekend Shenanigans!

Even though my weekend was super lamesies and I loved every minute of it, I'm still linking up with Sami from Sami's Shenanigans because I love routines and things that are familiar :)


Sami's Shenanigans


1. I didn't do anything of substance or importance. Sure, I got some Halloween decorations out and put them around my house, but I was such a lazy blogger that I didn't even take a picture of it. Oh no she di'int!

2. Okay, so I did do some stuff. I went to breakfast with my mom, my sister, and my nephews Saturday morning. When I got to my sister's house, the first thing K asked me was "Did Brad poop his pants this morning?" This isn't an unusual question for them to ask me. In fact, this is one of their favorite topics of conversation. I have them convinced that Bradley poops his pants on the reg, AND eats toenails and boogers. They are so into this story that, when I used to trim their fingernails and toenails, they would go get sandwich bags and make me collect their trimmings and take them home for him.

They basically think Bradley is the most disgusting person on the planet, and they love it. Bradley will even pretend to poop his pants around them and ask them to change his diaper. They laugh hysterically at this every time. They will talk mad shit to him constantly about how he is a big baby, and I really think it makes them feel like big boys to do this.

3. I watched so much television this weekend that I had dreams about Abby Lee Miller and Nev from Catfish. I was shopping at Target with Abby Lee Miller and she was trying to get me to buy some dance shoes, but I told her they were going to hurt my feet walking around in them at work. When I finally found a pair of shoes I liked, my size wasn't out on the floor so we found someone to help us check the back. Turns out, Nev from Catfish moonlights as a Target employee who is great at helping you accessorize.

I know, this is all blowing your mind right now.

Even though I probably watched a total of 16 hours of television, I somehow only managed to clear 2% from our DVR. So I have this strange feeling of not accomplishing anything and feeling pretty guilty about it.

4. Sunday morning my sister and I took the boys to Toys R Us to spend some birthday gift money from Holly, and they drove us insane. They were like maniacs all over the place wanting everything. Their birthday was a week prior to this and they also own 3 of everything in the store. Not to mention they have, no joke, over 100 tractors of various shapes and sizes. Yet, somehow they managed to complain that they didn't have enough tractors and needed new ones.

No.    

We put the kibosh on that real quick and convinced them instead to get some power tools and this really cute Whack-A-Mole game. They ended up being really happy and excited with their new toys and played with them the rest of the night.



After taking them next door to the Halloween store and scaring the shit out of them for our own entertainment purposes (Creep on my Instagram to see a super funny video), I went home and took a much needed nap. Then I made Bradley and I an awesome dinner consisting of corn on the cob, crack potatoes, and hot dogs.

This weekend was so liberating for me. I like to feel busy and in control of everything, with a plan and a list and it all wrapped in a bow. It was nice to just go with the flow and not have any plans and do whatever I felt like doing. I really needed this weekend to get some rest and be alone with myself and my reality tv.

I have some awesome news to share as well :)

I have my very first "official" paid photo session this coming Sunday. I've done some photo sessions before for my sister and my nephews, but I didn't get paid, so this is suh-weet! I've been really praying about taking the next step with my photography goals, and I'm really excited for this opportunity.



Tomorrow I'll be sharing with you one of my favorite love stories. My own :)

Peace out Girl Scouts!


9.20.2013

Five on Friday!

It wouldn't be a proper Friday without a little Five on Friday link-up action with Darci from The Good Life Blog!







1. I am so happy that this week flew by. This is the first weekend in forever that we have absolutely nothing planned. At least, nothing important enough for me to remember right now. I am going to lay in bed in my unders and watch so much reality TV that I start talking to myself like I'm being interviewed.


I haven't watched Dance Moms in over a month. My life is nothing without Abby Lee Miller in it. That bitch is cray in the best way possible.


2. On Wednesday night, Bradley and I teamed up to deep clean the shit out of our house. I'm talking, bathroom and kitchen scrubbed, every shelf and table dusted, all floors vacuumed, and laundry completely done. He spoke my love language fluently that night.

Speaking of Bradley, sometimes he's so dorky and funny he reminds me of Kenny Powers. I found this gif the other day and it just reminds me of something that Bradley would do, all awkward and white-guy like. Cowboy hat included.



3. I seriously have so many funny blog posts stirring around in my head that I can't wait to share. I have been brainstorming and writing notes on my phone for days. I'm having a hard time trying to find a balance between work, school, my house, Bradley & Chordie, my family, my friends, and TV right now. So, I feel like my blog has been suffering a bit. Dontchu worry your pretty little heads though, next week is going to be off tha hook, yo!

Bloop!


4. Has anyone updated to the new IOS 7? I never even updated to the IOS 6 :/ I really hate change, I like things to be familiar and consistent. Right down to the software on my phone. Bradley updated last night and I'm scared of how different it is. I don't know if I'm going to be able to take the plunge, it seems way too far out of my comfort zone. Anyone have any thoughts on it?



5. This.

Bible, this was written about me. Sounds like my Saturday!



Have a great weekend everyone! :)


9.18.2013

Hump Day Guest Post!

Bonjour mes amies! ('Scuse me for busting out some 4th year French on ya. Thank God I took it all four years just to spice up that college transcript, huh?)

Today I'm guest posting for Tim over at Tim Bob's Bloggy Blog. Tim is a super awesome guy that we met through Holly. He originally began texting Bradley a few months ago and motivating him about his weight loss. We met him and his wife Jennifer at Chris' surprise 30th birthday party. They are both such sweet, genuine people and we had a great time. I can't wait to plan something so that we can all hang out and have another blogger slumber party :)

Whew, that was a lot of links.

Anyways, Tim is so cool and I felt honored to be asked to guest post for him today. So please go check out his blog and read about what a gomer I was as a kid.



Since I never posted any pictures from my weekend, here's a few from my nephew's 4th birthday party and my niece's 16th birthday party.

Obligatory Aunt Kayla photo-shoot


Blowing out the candles on their Firetruck cakes my sister made for each of them!

I feel like you can see the dimples on my thighs in those pants. Note to self, stop wearing them unless you like looking like a tub of cottage cheese.

Kjirsten opening her present from her boyfriend. Teenage love, puke.



I can't bring myself to even look at a piece of cake this week. Like, for real. My work pants were so tight on Monday, my ass is practically backing into a new wardrobe. And I was doing so well too. I weighed myself Friday and I was down 6 pounds! I had already met my 4% weight loss goal for Skinny Meg's Diet Bet.


I wish I wasn't so poor so I could get a friggin pedicure already

But I'm not stepping on a scale until this coming Friday because I don't want to get discouraged. If I can take off 6 pounds in two weeks without really working out and still drinking a soda a day, I can kick this excess birthday weekend weight no probs.

At least I'm going to keep telling myself that.


Okay folks, now skip on over to Tim's blog and read my post already!

9.17.2013

Signs

So I know I've mentioned before that my Father passed away two and a half years ago and that I didn't have the best relationship with him. I'm not quite ready to tell the whole story because it's not a place I like to dwell. He was not a good man. He was not a good Father. By a lot of people's standards, he wasn't even a good person. But of all the things he wasn't, he was still my Father and the only one I was given in this life.

When I was 6 years old, my Father got into a motorcycle accident with his best friend Jeff. Jeff passed away at the scene, in the middle of the road, early in the morning. My Father died twice on the way to the hospital, and was life-flighted to a nearby hospital where he was not expected to live. This day changed not only who I was as a person, but how I was to know my Father, and the direction my life would take.

This was one of those days that, as they say, will forever live in infamy. At least for me.

But I'll get more into that story later, and I'll share all of it. I really do plan to go there someday, but today is not that day.

So, ever since my Father passed away he has sent me signs. And before you go and dismiss me and think that I'm crazy, please hear me out. This is very much real. I can feel him. Not in my head either. I can sometimes physically feel his presence beside me. You will never understand it until it happens to you.

I could write an entire post on the signs and ways my Father has visited me, but I need to share this one in particular because it happened just the other day. See, my Father and I have this connection with birds. It goes really deep, and it's all connected in several ways. I know, could I be any more vague?

The song "Freebird" is very closely connected to my Father, and when I was a child he would always make me sing "Wind Beneath My Wings" to him. The day he died, the hospital Chaplain was in his room praying with him when she heard a cooing at the window. She turned to find an all-white Dove perched on the ledge staring straight into his room. She said she'd never in all her years seen that happen before.

And then there's all the bird's he's sent me. But that's for another day.

So this particular time, two Friday's ago to be exact, from the second I opened my eyes that morning I had my Father on my mind. It's not uncommon for me to think of him, I do quite often. But this day just felt different. So I got ready for the day and I was standing at my dining room table getting my purse when I glanced up and locked eyes with a picture I have of him on a shelf. It just felt like he was there and I was looking right at him. It always makes me happy to feel that way, especially since I could never say that when he was alive.

I walked out into my driveway to leave for work and as I took the first step,  this entire flock of birds took off from the patch of grass between our driveway and the neighbor's. They flew in a perfect line towards the sun. I couldn't help but grin, because I knew it was him. So when I got in the car I turned on my "Dad" playlist on my iPod and listened to Lynyrd Skynyrd, Nazareth, and AC/DC the whole way to work. His favorite songs of course.

My day wasn't any different from the rest, answering calls, taking care of appointments, etc etc. This particular day a man named Jeff kept calling. He would seriously call just about every hour. I thought, take a break Jeff, we'll get back to you when we can bro. I didn't think anything else of it.

At around 10 'til noon I got a phone call from this girl who needed to speak with someone in our office. As is protocol to do, I had to look her up in the system first, so I asked her her name. When she told me what it was, my heart sank into my stomach. And I mean that literally, it felt like my heart just plopped right onto my gut and it felt about as heavy as a brick.

She was the daughter of one of my Father's old best friends. My Dad, her Dad, and Jeff, the man who died in the motorcycle accident were inseparable. I had to put her on hold so that I could get my shit together for a minute. It freaked me out big time. So when I got back on the call I took her name down and went to write down the date and that's when I realized what was really going on.

The date was September 6th, 2013. Twenty years ago to the day that my Father got into his motorcycle accident. The one that killed him twice. The one that killed his best friend permanently. The one that altered the course of my life forever. The day that lived in infamy.

It all made sense why my Father was with me from the start. I woke up at 6:20 that morning, which was approximately around the time that the accident occurred. He followed me throughout my day giving me little signs, trying to remind me. The birds, the Jeff guy calling all day. All of it. To me, it was him. I can't be convinced otherwise.

I just about had a panic attack once I put all of the pieces together. Not because I was scared, or because I needed any more convincing that my Father visits me and sends me signs. But because every once in a while it will still hit me like a ton of bricks. For most people, their Dad's will call them or they will see them regularly. I never had that in my life. So to be visited by your deceased Father and have him send you signs can still be a little freaky. Very much welcome, but still freaky.

This has been on my mind a lot the past few days. I wanted to write about it sooner, but it's just something that is hard to put into words. As if you all didn't think I was bat-shit crazy to begin with, now you know that I believe in signs from the dead. I'm a mixed bag for sure.

Whether or not you believe all of this, or even if it's happened to you, you have to understand that for me, this is all a part of the process. Grieving never ends. I still cry like a baby for my Father and I probably always will. Not because I love him for the shitty things he did, or because I revere him as this great mythical man who was so admirable. But because he was my Father, and that just is what it is. I can love him now that he's gone. I can forgive him for everything. Because I choose to. I want to be at peace. And I know that he's at peace now, so we both deserve to be okay with the past. We're never going to change it.

It's like my Mom used to always tell me as a kid "You don't have to love him for what he does, just love him for who he is."

He was my Father. He was not perfect. And he's no longer alive to make it right. So for me, these signs are his way of reminding me that we're both free as birds now. And that it's okay to love him.

Because it really is. 

9.16.2013

What I Want to be When I Grow Up

So I'm pretty much an idealist by my own admission. I like to think of things as completely perfect. Until they aren't anymore and then I have a meltdown of epic proportions and I hate the world.

But I'm a female, so I know I'm not the only one who does this.

As a child I would fantasize about being famous. I'm not talking like, this one time when I was 10, I want to be famous. I'm talking like, just yesterday I was driving in my car singing along to Katy Perry and thinking about how much better the world would be if I was a star.

Or maybe that was this morning, I can't keep my days straight.

Anyways, I was for sure that I was going to be a famous singer. I would sit at home and play Reba McEntire and Fleetwood Mac albums on repeat and practice for my first audition. I would write these really stupid songs about love that made no sense because I was 8 and what the hell did I know about love? My infatuation with Uncle Jesse not included.

I would hate on LeAnn Rimes big time because she stole my child star thunder. I deserved to win a Grammy for 'Blue' and she deserved to grow up to be a home-wrecker. She still became a home-wrecker but I still haven't won a damn Grammy.

Seriously though, I for real wanted to be a singer. Except I never did anything about it. I was in the choir in middle school but everyone got to be in it, and I never had the balls to go out for a solo. In high school I was too much of a chicken shit to audition for the show choir, and I hated the show choir kids because they didn't like beer as much as I did. I even moved to NYC my Freshman year of College and never one time pursued any type of singing anything.

The thing is, while I was obsessed with singing and being a big star, no one had any idea. No one even knew I could sing. I couldn't bring myself to sing in front of anyone, not even my friends in the car. I still don't understand why I was so closed off about it, especially when I was so passionate about it.

I'm not as closed off about singing anymore. I will sing in front of people and annoy Bradley in the car to my heart's desire. I don't know if I ever was any good, or if I am any good still. I really don't care. I think my problem was that I held it so close to my heart because it meant so much to me, and then I grew up and never had a chance to pursue anything. It is probably my biggest regret as an adolescent that I never even gave it a try. Okay, that and never having a boyfriend in high school. Those are my two biggest adolescent regrets.

If I had the confidence then that I have now, maybe I could have made the show choir and sung solos and felt like Mariah Carey. I guess I'll never know. Looking back, I was not nearly as confident in anything, at least not like I thought I was at the time. But now that I'm all old and stuff, I realize that letting the fear hold me back only hurt me, not anybody else. I wasn't proving anything to anyone by not going for it. Instead of gracing the world with my immeasurable talents, I was driving around in my Dodge Neon holding solo concerts for no one

The lesson I learned from not ever being what I really wanted to be when I grew up is that, if you really want something, like really truly want something, you'll do whatever it takes to have it. I wanted to eat my weight in McDonald's and be 210 pounds, and so I was. I never really wanted to be a famous singer, at least not bad enough to do anything about it.

So the next time you see a chubby brunette girl cracking jokes to hide behind the laughs, think about who she might really be on the inside. What she lays in bed and thinks about at night. Who she wishes she really was. And let her know that she can be anything she wants to be, if she wants it bad enough.


9.13.2013

Lists and Fridays are my favorites!

I have to admit, I've been a pretty shitty blogger this week. All of my posts have been link-ups because I've been busy being an adult and what-not. Next week I promise I'll be back in the mix with some original bombass shizz for your viewing pleasure ;)

So without further adieu, it's time for some Five on Friday! Hey Hey Hey!



1. Everyone's favorite girl Holly is partaking in the St. Jude Run this December in Memphis. She needs to raise $500 in order to participate, however, being the super awesome over-achiever that she is, she has set a personal goal of $2,500. Please check out her fundraising link and help a sista out!



2. My nephews, D, K, & G turn 4 on Saturday! I can't believe how quickly time has flown by! I design shirts for them every year, and this year their theme is firetrucks. Last year it was tractors, because they are obsessed with John Deere. I'll be taking 1,000 pictures at their party so I'll be sure to share a picture of them in their sweet custom shirts on Monday :) This is the three of them from last year's party!

I can't even deal with how little they look here. They have grown so much!


3. On Sunday my niece Kjirsten turns the big 1-6. If that doesn't make me feel old I don't know what will. She's my oldest kid, and of all the things I have to be thankful for in my life, she is definitely at the top of my list. This whole weekend is going to be very exciting and bittersweet for myself and my entire family.
Clearly she gets her good looks from me


4. I am still not over the new episode of this season of Sons of Anarchy. Like, I just can't. There was so much going on, and a lot of it was so fucked up. I am still disturbed. Jax Teller, why you gotta go and be an adulterous bastard? Better yet, why did you have to make me so excited about it by giving me the best 4 seconds of my life seeing your naked booty? I cannot wait for 50 Shades of Gray! If you've read the books and you know what Charlie Hunnam looks like, your panties should be all in a twist about it too.

Can I get a hall pass for this guy?

5. My real life main squeeze Bradley had his first two softball games for his work league Thursday night. I went to the first game and wouldn't ya know it, my lil' slugger caught a line drive at first base for the first out of the game. Definitely some web gem shit right there ;)

That was the best play of the game for his team unfortunately. They lost 14-0. Yeah, that really happened. I didn't stay for the second game because I was cold and I felt like a Cub's fan cheering on a losing team. But he was still the cutest one out there and that counts for something in my book!

Ow Ow!

I've decided to channel my inner Kardashian and sport a top knot to work today. It's casual Friday and it's only supposed to be 72 degrees, so I'm going to be rockin' a sweater/top knot/jeans ensemble like mah gurl Khloe K (sans crackhead husband). Creep me on Instagram and check out how good I look!



Have a great weekend lovelies!



 

9.11.2013

It's time to finish some sentences boo!

I have to say that I'm really offended that I didn't get asked to be a part of this link-up with Jake and Holly. Not because I even know Jake, or that Holly hasn't already done enough for me in the blog world, but because I had the perfect freaking outfit!



Sans camel toe of course.

For real though, how much cuter would the button have been if it looked like this?


Seriously. We look like the Holy Trinity of Blogging. All minty and happy and stuff. Just putting that out there.

Anyways, I can't wait to Finish the Sentence with Jake & Holly today!


My happy place... a spotless house cleaned by Bradley, our fridge stocked with Strawberitas, and wings from Domino's on the table for dinner *hint Bradley I know you'll be creepin' my blog today hint*
 
Whatever happened to... Predictability? The milkman? The paperboy? Evening TV?
 
So what if I.... secretly fantasize about putting Nair in Bradley's shampoo whenever he pisses me off. It's a far safer outlet than actually doing it. Thankfully I love him more often than I don't :)
 
E! needs a reality show about... Kayla Freakin' Layla!!!!!
 
My go-to fast food meal is... I don't eat fast food anymore, but in my fat girl hay-day I could smash a 10 piece nugget meal with a large DP from Mickey D's like it was my job.
 
You might not know that I... was on TRL back in 2005 and I met Ryan Cabrera and Marques Houston. I even did a shout-out for my friend's birthday. So basically, I'm famous.
 
The hottest quarterback in the NFL is... I asked Bradley this question because I don't know anyone's names and he told me that "Tom Brady is a pretty good looking guy." So there ya go.
 
If I could.... go back in time and buy those PopTarts I was eyeing at the gas station today I totally would.
 
My personality is awesome because... I mean really? Would you ask Mariah Carey why she's such an awesome singer? Or ask Michael Jordan why he's an awesome athlete? Or ask Holly why she's an awesome blogger? No. We are just born awesome.
 
Twerking is.... Too much work. I prefer the cabbage patch or the shopping cart. I like to leave a little to the imagination with my dance moves.
 
I think it's super gross when... I use a public bathroom and my hair accidentally touches the seat when I bend over to wipe it off. I can't even think about it right now without getting the willies. Long hair don't care.
 
Someone needs to tell Miley Cyrus.... to consider "pushing the envelope" a little more. Try being provocative, show some skin, be a little risque girlfriend! Sledgehammers and wrecking balls can be really sexy when used properly. 


Phew! Was that as good for you as it was for me?


9.09.2013

Shenanigans of my Weekend!

I can't believe it's over again. I've had so many great weekends that, when Monday rolls around, I'm almost in mourning. My life would be so much easier if I wasn't so cool and stuff. Then I wouldn't have anything to miss about the weekend :(

So ladies & gents, it's time for some Shenanigans!




Sami's Shenanigans


I went to our town's Marigold Festival this weekend and it was lots of fun in the sun. Seriously. I got a sunburn from being outside fully clothed for 4 hours. 

Saturday morning I started out watching my niece Kjirsten play in her Varsity tennis tournament. My sister Heather assigned me the task of photographing some action shots of her since she was working a booth at the festival. Unfortunately, the way the tournament played out, I never got to watch a single match. I was pretty bummed not being able to see my baby girl play for the Varsity team. I am having a hard time believing she'll be 16 on Sunday! 

At the parade, I met up with my brother-in-law and my nephews so that I could score some of their candy. It was honestly better than Halloween for them. They didn't have to wear costumes that were uncomfortable and made them sweat, and they didn't have to walk door to door. They just stood there and everyone who walked by with candy would say "Aww triplets!" and just give them handfuls. They have it so easy!


Since they attend a Christian school, they have become really familiar with and interested in Jesus. Once they saw him in the parade they started freaking out and saying "Why is that man following Jesus and hitting him?" It was really sad and sweet at the same time. Their favorite parts of the parade were obviously the John Deere tractors and the fast cars. Typical boy stuff that I don't relate to. Just give me some candy.

After the parade I hit up Art in the Park and got to fill up on Lemonade Shake-ups and cinnamon roasted-almonds. I was in fat girl heaven.


I guess I sort of forgot in all of my excitement that Art in the Park has a lot more of a country influence than I remembered. I didn't really find anything there that would go with my modern/contemporary home. The only things I ended up buying were a Pumpkin Spice candle from my favorite candle tent, and some letter photos spelling out my future last name that I eventually plan on framing. I have a tendency to idealistically build up things that I'm excited about just to be let down. I blame it on all the Disney movies I watched as a child.

Chordie Photo-Bomb
Saturday night, Bradley and I attended our friend's Tara and Austin's wedding. I've known Austin since 2nd grade and Tara since 4th grade, so it was a little surreal to see the both of them marrying each other after all these years. 

I was smokin' hot that night, so I'm going to graciously post several flattering pictures of myself and my equally hot friends.

Bradley looks terrified of my beauty.

We all had a great time hanging out with each other and getting white girl wasted. Celebrating the union of two people isn't complete until your best friend's husband takes over the dance floor and does the stanky leg like a pro. He also happens to be Bradley's best friend, but he's a lot cooler because he actually likes to have fun and laugh at his own expense. 

The best part was having all 8 of us in the same place for a change. With there being so many of us, and having to pretend to be adults Monday-Friday, we rarely if ever get to all be together at once. I've known all of these girls the majority of my life. We have been through it all together, and it's so nice to celebrate a wedding together as well.


Did I mention I was smoking hot Saturday night?

Oh I did?

Oh.

Anyways, draft beer is never my friend and I'm always so quick to forget this every single time. I hate getting those damn gassy belly aches and having to burp it all up. It really cramps my style. Pun intended. 

When it was time to go home I was so drunk and cranky I made Bradley call my mom for a ride. My belly hurt too much to make a phone call. That's how dramatic I was/am. I deserve an Oscar.

Sunday morning I slept in until 7:45 (whoa now!) and decided to deep clean and sanitize my refrigerator. Some of my best work is done in the half drunk/half hungover purgatory the morning after drinking.


That picture is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. I love a clean things, can you tell?

Then after breakfast we went up to wait for Holly at the finish line of the half marathon she was running. I snapped a picture of her approaching the finish, but I value the wonderful sisters-in-law relationship we have too much to post it ;)

Sunday afternoon I went with my sisters, my mom, and my nephews to have lunch and do some shopping, and then came home and spent time with Bradley's grandparents who came over to watch football. As much as I love them, I hate football. But I did get a lot of cool new stuff pinned on Pinterest, so that's a plus!

So now it's Monday, it's probably going to be Manic, and it certainly already sucks. I miss and love you Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday. Until we meet again. XoXo. 

9.06.2013

The Sunshine Award :)

I totally felt like Regina George yesterday.

Not because I'm your typical selfish, back-stabbing, slut faced ho-bag, but because I felt like the most popular girl in school.

Both Trista from Stewart Street & Kate from Widgeon Nest nominated me for The Sunshine Award!



Not only that, Tammy Jo from You Wouldn't Call It A Drinking Problem nominated me for a Leibster Award! I'm going to save that for Monday so that I have an excuse to talk about myself some more :)

Who am I kidding, I don't need an excuse!
 
I want to thank all three of them for being sweet enough to think of me! I am so flattered that other people like me as much as I do :)
 
So here's the dealio:
 
A Sunshine Award is given to bloggers whose posts brighten your day. Here are the rules-
1. Include award logo in a post or on your blog (above). 
2. Link to the person who nominated you
3. Answer 10 questions about yourself. 
4. Nominate 10 bloggers to receive the award. 
5. Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.
 
 
So here goes nothin'!


Questions from Trista:

1. Open your music on your phone. What's the last song you listened to? 
"Better Together" by Jack Johnson. Love love love me some Jack, especially in the Fall. Takes me back to high school with bonfires, beer, and great friends.

2. Last adult beverage you drank? 
Currently enjoying a Strawberita (durr)

3. It's Saturday night and your 16....where are you? 
If it's a Speech weekend, I'm hanging out with all my nerdy ass Speech friends bringin' the drama at a tournament of some kind. If it's a regular weekend, I'm probably trying to find someone to buy me beer.

4. Favorite actress? 
Angelina Jolie. We both have a thing for Brad's ;)

5. Have you ever cheated on someone?
Absolutely not. I'm a big believer in karma.
 
6. Ever been cheated on? 
Not that I know of. Considering I've only had two boyfriends my whole life, one of them I'm going to marry, the odds are probably not. I've already told Bradley they wouldn't find his body if he ever cheated on me. I'd go all "Goodbye Earl" on his ass.

7. First kiss. Tell us about it. 
Oh boy. To say I was a late bloomer is an understatement. I didn't get my first kiss until I was 17. It was on the Speech bus. I think his name was Austin. He liked me for a minute, but I spent all of high school being obsessed with one boy. See how faithful I am?
 
8. First job you ever had? 
My first job was babysitting for my sister. My niece was born when I was 10 and my sister would pay me like $10 to watch her for a couple of hours. I guess 10 seems really young to some people to be watching a baby, but I was quite mature for my age. Then when my nephew was born 4 years later, I spent the summers babysitting him. It was a great job, and I consider them to be my "oldest kids."
 
9. How old were you when you had your first alcoholic beverage?
Umm, 14? 
 
10. Do you still keep in touch with your high school best friend?
For sure! We work a block away from each other even!


Questions from Kate:

1. What's your personality type? (Myers Briggs, C. Jung, CVI, Sex in the City character survey, whatever). (If you've never taken one and don't have the time, just describe your personality!)
Type-A babe. I wrote the book on being a crazy, high-strung, organization-freak who impatiently multi-tasks. 

2.What is the hardest thing you've ever had to do?
Letting go of the things I couldn't change. I watched my Father die knowing that I had to give up on any semblance of a relationship, or any hope that we could undo the past.
 
3.What's in your car's trunk?
I drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee so I don't really have a trunk. But I think there's an umbrella and some dog hair in the way back.
 
4. How many times have you been to Disney World or Disney Land?
I can't even count how many times I've been to Disney World. We used to go like every year when I was a kid. My family is obsessed. I haven't been since I was like 19, which is crazy business. I keep trying to convince Bradley that we need to go there on our Honeymoon :)
 
5. What's one thing you've been putting off?
Speaking of cars, cleaning mine out. I let Chordie ride in the back pretty much wherever I go, and she shed's like a mother. There is a very thick layer of her fur in my back seat. I'm stressed just thinking about it.
 
6. What do you have going on this weekend?
Marigold Festival boo! And one of my friend's is getting married! Party time!!!
 
7. Wine, beer, or mixed drinks? What kind?
Strawberitas. Silly question!
 
8. If you had to legally change your name, what would you choose?
Kayla Layla, durr. Obviously Layla isn't my middle name, but it'd be a lot cooler if it was.
 
9. What cheesy line do you tell yourself to get motivated for a workout/run/whatever?
"Eat yo salad no dessert, get that man you deserve" I'm always quoting Kanye.
 
10. Bill Murray or Will Ferrell? I mean, if you had to choose.
Will Ferrell, I cannot wait until Anchorman 2 comes out!

My Questions:
1. If you were a Real Housewife, what would your tagline be? If you don't watch it, I'll give you an example of what mine would be. "There's nothing wrong with being classy, sassy, and a bit smart ass-y!"
2. What is your favorite boy band of all time?
3. Which member of The Brady Bunch can you most relate to?
4. Will you be wearing white now that Labor Day has passed?
5. Nacho Cheese or Cooler Ranch Doritos?
6. Describe something about yourself that you secretly love and wish others noticed more.
7. Would you rather be deaf or blind?
8. Maury's Paternity Tests episodes or Out of Control Teens?
9.  If you could go back in time for 24 hours, where would you go and what would you do?
10. Who's sexier? Larry King or Steve Buscemi?

My Nominations:
1. Jodi from  Love and Crayons
2. Veronica from V Watt's Thoughts
4. Leah from Mrs. Mama D
5. Meredith from Is This Thing On?
6. Erin from She's A Big Star
7. Katelyn from Imperfect Perfection
8. Merrie from The Skinny Student
9. Samantha from 24 to 30

I'm so looking forward to reading their responses! Have a great weekend everyone? Got any big plans?